if you don't beat me to it | ezra v little dear

[goat]

ezra valencia

He only lets himself read the note Niko handed him after he sleeps. The night seems endless, but he’d rather lay under this artificial sky than be back underground, stumbling through a dark cavern with the blood of two people all over him. When the sun starts to peek over the horizon, only to be drowned out by a shadow of god knows what, he pulls himself to his feet, reaches into his pocket, and unfolds the battered sheet of paper.

I love you SO much.

A breath catches in his throat, and for a moment, he thinks about letting himself choke. He took someone from this world, someone who was loved. Sure, someone else had killed him first, but he had finished the job, and for what? So he could crawl back into the light and die again?

His family would be fine. His parents had three other children, and they would grow up and forget him. What about Niko’s family? What about Cyro’s, his son? What if he had irrevocably torn apart families, what if they would never recover?

He digs the tip of his knife into the center of his palm, lets it burn, and then drops his arms at his side as if nothing had happened.

There’s a shadow in the corner of his eye, and Ezra jerks his head to see a wounded animal. There are weapons buried in its skin, the wounds deep and scabbed, and a mask surrounds its face. It looks like it could be a regular deer, but the way its antlers are sharpened to points tells Ezra it’s nothing more than another Capitol muttation.

Fuck you, he thinks. Fuck you and everything you stand for. He’s already killed two mutts and two people, what’s another one, right ?


[ ezra attacks the little dear; knife ]
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2019 -- Stabbed in Calf -- 8.5 damage

knife

[pearl mcclain d4 [ryan]]

You have no business here do you? Food is scarce, and the sound of people is making you worry. However, you need to survive, and that means taking risks to find the sustenance that you need. You wonder aimlessly, trying to find something to guide you. A light, a sound, someone's voice. Anything to lead you through the dark. You could grace the eyes of anyone, and they would probably see nothing but a wounded creature, but you are strong. You have braved many painful tides before, and you would do it again. The sound of someone startles you, but you lay there, whimpering for a second and a half. You feel something rip into you, and instead of screaming, you simply buck up. You know well what it means to survive, and pain has only taught you to be stronger. You twist your head and thrash out wildly, hoping to create distance between you and your assailant. Your conscious telling you to live.

Bimbi attacks Ezra Valencia || Antlers (knife)
YwUzJNyMk1knife
[2087 -- Shallow Cut on Neck -- 4.0 damage
(Knife)]

knife

[goat]

ezra valencia

Ezra brings the knife down hard, digging it deep into one of the deer’s legs, but he can’t yank it out fast enough, and the deer gets a good swipe across his neck as he stumbles back. He reaches up to gauge the depth of the wound, but it’s barely a scratch, has already stopped bleeding.

The deer is thrashing, hooves kicking up dirt, antlers stabbing haphazardly into the air. For a moment, Ezra lets himself feel pity. They’re both living beings who’ve been trapped somewhere, and the only out for either of them is death, just like it had been underground, just like it had been with Cyro and Niko. He’d set them free and let himself stay caged for the slim chance he’d see real sunlight again.

Whether it was a foolish choice or not, he won’t know until it’s over.

“Do you think this is fun for me?” he asks the creature, knowing full well it can’t answer him back. “I don’t want to be here. They stuck us both in this arena. You should be pissed at them, not me.”

He points his knife at the sky, at the paneled ceiling, and it’s a threat to the Gamemakers, the Capitol, every damn person complicit in this, but he knows it means nothing to them. In the end, he’s just another disposable kid with a weapon he shouldn’t be allowed to have. He’s nothing.

The deer is still fighting an invisible enemy, thrusting its antlers in every direction. Ezra grits his teeth and steps forward. There’s no point in wasting time.


[ ezra attacks the little dear; knife ]
pZIcYjSftTknife
2058 -- Block -- 0.0 damage

accuracy; day 6
knife
2001 -- Shallow Cut on Right Bicep -- 3.5 damage

knife·knife

[pearl mcclain d4 [ryan]]

You only hear muffles through the mask, and you do not appreciate it. You take a moment to realize that this person, to which you only can assume, is not afraid of you. That is fine, but you are not afraid of them either. You take a deep breath as you feel them slice into you, but the pain is more of a tickle. You dont laugh though because you cant. The mask is hindering you from almost everything. You cannot experience the joys of laughing, or crying, or even smelling the fresh air. And neither should they.

Bimbi attacks Ezra Valencia || Antlers (knife)
0Zr7IHgaPqknife
[result]

knife

[goat]

ezra valencia

When he dives for the deer the first time, it dodges out of his way. Ezra shifts away from its razor sharp antlers and tries again, and this time, the knife leaves a thin cut from its shoulder blade to the middle joint of his leg. Before the deer can attack him, he shoves it away and gets back to his feet. He wonders how much fight this creature has left inside its tiny body. It’s already so battered, with all the weapons stuck in its flesh and the mask tight around its face. There’s no way it can keep this up.

He knows now what a human looks like when they can’t stand anymore, when the life is draining from their body, and he doesn’t want that to be him, not again.

“Forgive me,” he asks the deer, just like he wanted to ask Cyro, and Niko. Please forgive me.


[ ezra attacks the little dear; knife ]
UV9xVj4wUeknife
2169 -- Miss -- 0.0 damage

knife

[pearl mcclain d4 [ryan]]

The voice your hear is soft and you cant believe someone actually did that. You had never experienced kindness, not from anything. You yearned for it, but you did not trust it either, because at the end of the day, you still had to survive, and kindness would not protect you from what was to come. You feel nothing but air grace you, and you step back for a moment in the blindness. You contemplate running away, but you cant. You wont. You couldnt risk him coming after. It was you or him, and you knew which one it had to be.

Bimbi attacks Ezra Valencia || Antlers (knife)
GHqbF|x_jQknife
[result]

knife

[goat]

ezra valencia

Both their attacks miss each other. Ezra’s knife slips from his fingers and the deer stumbles on the unsteady ground. He reaches down and grabs his knife back, wrapping a fist around the blade. The twisted metal digs into the soft skin of his palm, drawing pinpricks of blood, and he thinks he needs to stop doing this, but it’s unconscious at this point. It’s what he deserves. He deserves to hurt for what he’s done, for everyone else he’s hurt.

This needs to stop, he thinks, wavering where he stands. Everything needs to stop. The mutt, the violence, the tributes, the Games, the death, all the death. He’s just one boy, he can’t stop it, but maybe, maybe if everyone laid down their weapons, they could—

He laughs and shakes his head. He should know better than that by now.


[ ezra attacks the little dear; knife ]
Y4K6GU3FhKknife
2153 -- Deep Gash on Forehead -- 9.0 damage

knife