Venom [Cass]

[Noah Vau - D2 (Cato)]

K I L L I A N   S T R A U S S

Pure joy flows through my veins from the moment my siblings agreed to bring Aster home. Finally I think to myself as a grin spreads from ear to ear, but what Aster will soon learn is that this home isn't what it seems. For now, taking her under my wing, showing her all I know is important, and maybe she can learn to become the victor when the time comes. A nice face is important to let her know that I am here for her no matter what, and that I will never let anything ever happen to her. Of course, the rules of this mansion is set in stone, but doing what I can to protect her the way Victor and Octavia protect their favorites is something I will stand firm on.

It's been a few days since we walked through the doors, and Aster has been introduced to her other brothers and sisters. Most of the time I'm spent locked away in my library wondering if anyone will walk inside hoping to find a book or something else to use to help their training, but it's always just a dream that will never come true. At least's what I thought? From what I know of Aster, she loves reading, and maybe she can go through this room with ease and find the books I've stockpiled over the years.

Things have changed, though, and I find myself sitting at a table in the open watching everyone from afar wondering what they're up to, but none of that matters right now anyway. The one thing I want to do is talk to Aster and maybe get to know her. Maybe I can actually bring her into the library, and maybe for the first time someone will have interest. Sometime in life, I'll need that child to pass all this onto when I'm old and feeble and my life slowly drifts away. It's something I think about, something that haunts my mind, yet it's simple to think of something else.

A heavy sigh leaves my chest as I move away from the table. Heavy footsteps carry me through the halls echoing from wall to wall. I have to talk to her. I have to get to know her - my siblings agreed to this adoption for me, and I want to make sure she follows in my footsteps. Making her queen of district two might take a lot of work, but I'm willing to put in the effort, and great things come to those people who never give up. I could've gave up on my eighteenth birthday and threw my life away for my parents sake, however, I chose to live on. To keep myself going with the way I wanted to live, and it's the best thing ever.

When I find her, I carefully walk up towards her, my hands behind my back. I wonder how she's settling in, and I want her to know that I am here for her. That I want to help her. Sometimes meeting new parents is scary, but to her, I want more than that. I want to be her mentor. Someone to help her learn more than she could possibly know. I blink a couple times before setting my eyes on her. "Would you like to see my library? I have many books in there. I think you might find it interesting." I reach out a hand not sure if she'd even take it. It's a peace offering, and she would be wise to take it.

[cass]

a s t e r .

It tarnished long ago
The lake will overflow
Flood all I've ever known
Break walls and sever bones

I don’t like it here.

It’s a lot. So far, I’ve met Finn and he’s broody and a little moody. He seems to want to hold the world at arm’s length because he’s scared that if he lets anything in it’ll just hurt him. Letting your fear rule your life takes meaning out of it, it prevents you from being able to value what you have. I get that fucked up things can happen, but it doesn’t mean you should stop being able to love the beauty that exists before us all.

Fiona is a little weird. She’s already offered to let me share her room with her, which I graciously accepted. Even sleeping on the floor feels a little safer than the loungeroom. The stories I’ve heard about Isabelle and Tobias are enough to make me want to avoid them. That’s pretty much impossible, but I can certainly try. Staying out of the way of the older kids seems a little more challenging as most of the lessons we do are group ones.

They’re all strong. Elizabeth looks like she could crush my head with her thighs. Declan just scares me, and honestly, I’m very intimidated by the looks I keep receiving. I’ve been trying my best to blend in, fall into the shadows at the back of the group. My glasses have already been damaged from sparring, and I’ve already been yelled at by Victor for not being good enough. I’m sixteen, late to the training regime that they’ve all been put through for years.

I have no muscles or strength, I hardly eat enough to even fuel my body let alone wield it like a weapon. The only thing I’ve found easy has been Killian’s classes. The endless books I’ve read have come in handy and I’m confident and capable of answering most of the ones he asks the class. But, I never do. That would require standing out and proclaiming to the rest of my siblings that I could possibly be a threat. I don’t want that at all, so I sit back, biting my lip as a listen to Elijah or someone else respond. It’s safer this way.

Two years, I keep reminding myself, that’s all I have to survive before I can safely escape. I can go back to being a Reed and I can go back to living my own life.

The voice breaks the silence around me and I look up from my book to see Killian Strauss standing in front of me. From what I’ve gathered he’s the book worm of the trio, something more akin to my own interests. Out of the three I’m more inclined to talk to him, our interest aligning somewhat more than with Octavia or Victor. It has been a long time since I last saw a library, back home my own books had been stacked on the floor, stretching all the way to the ceiling.

I’d been lost in the same three or four books, whatever I could get my hands on in the orphanage. Closing the book I stand up, grabbing the hand that Killian offers me with little hesitancy. Perhaps this was my way to protect myself, where I lacked skill with a sword of words I could protect myself with knowledge and books.

“I’ve been dying to find some new reading material,” I exclaim, looking at him with a smile. I offer him the book I was just reading, it’s a book about fauna and flora, describing the difference between medicinal and edible plants and their applications. “I’ve read this one a few times, pretty much memorised it by now, I’m definitely in need of something fresh.”

elegant

[Noah Vau - D2 (Cato)]

K I L L I A N   S T R A U S S

It's hard to contain myself and keep the excitement under control. All I want is to spread a joyful smile that I'm finally getting the opportunity to train someone. I can take Aster under my wing and show her the proper way of life. Books are fascinating, and they can teach so much more. These books have taught me what to look for when fighting, they've given me the knowledge on how to change an attack, and shown me how to be more deadly, yet these are all traits I carefully put away because I cannot show my true self right now. Aster hasn't been here long enough to know all the secrets, how we I have this hope that soon she'll grasp a hold of what I'm teaching and use it for her own betterment.

Victor isn't going to be pleased when he finds out I'm shoving so many books at her, but it doesn't matter. Studying is more important than throwing around useless weapons. Octavia might not be pleased since she's always teaching social and grace to make them more likeable. Doesn't matter. I know what I am doing, and the fact that they've given me a chance to find my own person, my own child to love and care for and show her everything I know means the world to me, and I'm not going to push that away. So when Aster says she'll like the books I find myself excited.

For a moment, I feel as though Aster isn’t going to respond, and it’s testing my patience, but she closes the book, stands, and takes my hand. I feel at peace, at ease, like the entire world is finally falling into place. It’s been so long - not volunteering for the games when I turned eighteen was the last time I felt this, and here it is again. And maybe everything will be okay, because she says she’s been dying for some new reading materiel. The library is filled with books I’ve collected throughout the years. Aster goes on about how she’s read the book she’s holding a few times. I’ve been there before reading the same book over and over because I couldn’t place my hands on another. It’s tough, but it helped pass the time.

”I have many books in the library. Probably more than you can imagine.” A grin spreads far across my face as my heart leaps happily inside my chest. It’s a wonderful feeling, and it’s taking all my strength to keep a cool head, and not let this excitement show in every fiber of my being. This one is mine. Victor has his protege. Octavia has her’s, and I have finally found mine. "Over the years I’ve gathered them, storing them away behind closed doors. All my family can venture in and read through them, but many refuse."

I lower my hand after motioning for her to follow. Something more resides behind those doors, and maybe for the first time someone can understand the beauty of holding a book and seeing what it involves. "Just follow me. I’ll show you the way." It’s hard to contain the excitement flowing through my voice. It’s been so long since anyone has been interested in reading. Not everyone can wield a weapon, but with knowledge comes wisdom and intelligence needed for a fight. "I just ask that you don’t touch anything unless I give you permission to."

[cass]

a s t e r .

It tarnished long ago
The lake will overflow
Flood all I've ever known
Break walls and sever bones

It’s hard to summarise the feeling that bubbles in my chest as I follow Killian. He talks as though my mind is going to be blown by the beauty that awaits me. He speaks with such conviction that I find myself eagerly pattering onwards, trusting that I’m going to be lead to a wonderful new world. I can only imagine what it’ll look like, what it’ll feel like to run a hand over a thousand different book spines. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a fresh book in my hands-

Oh and the smell!

My mother wasn’t the biggest fan of fresh paper, less so of older more musty pages. But, I found the smell comforting, like welcoming an old friend back into my hands. The feel of paper against my fingers was reassuring, a promise of peace and freedom for the few hours I could waste enveloped within a book. I feel almost giddy thinking about the treasure trove that will be unveiled before me. It’s hard to stop my smile from stretching all the way to my eyes.

That dream is quickly crushed as Killian asks me to not touch anything without permission. I resist the urge to pout, instead, nodding my head obediently as he smiles. It didn’t mean that I couldn’t touch the books, I’d just have to make sure I could. Fair enough, a request that I’ll have to work hard to oblige to prevent my excitement from getting the better of me.

We stop in front of a large wooden door which I can only assume to be Killian’s office space. His hand moves to the handle and I watch eagerly, eyes peering around his side and ready to take in the beauty within. I’d never really understood why people hated books, there was so much to be valued from knowledge. Even in a match of raw strength those that could think would more likely come out on top. Beyond that, how could you hate embracing a world created by words and your imagination? Even in non-fiction books, curiosity drove my desire. I wanted to learn about the world around me.

The door opened to reveal everything I had ever wanted. I almost go to push past Killian, but I contain myself, bouncing on the balls of my feet as he steps in first. There are shelves everywhere, from the floor to the ceiling and- The books.

They are everywhere, no space free. My jaw dropped as I stared, gaze taking in the sight with open awe. It was the kind of dream I’d run and tell my mother about, tripping over my words in my excitement. She’d tell me to calm down, speak a little slower as she laughed, her own smile as bright as mine. It ached, thinking about her small and laugh, about the fond glint to her eyes as I told her all about the book I’d just finished reading. Sometimes she didn’t understand, but no matter what I said she’d always listen with enthusiasm that warmed my heart.

I miss her so much.

I swallowed, stepping in and turning to face Killian. “This-” I said, arms waving at all the books “-it’s incredible!” I laughed, completely taken by the beauty of the room.

“Can I touch them?” I pointed to the books closest to me, taking a step forward. My hand was already reaching, eager to embrace the feeling of paper under my fingers. “Or, better yet, what can’t I touch?” It’d be easier to keep track of that in my head, rather than everything I could touch.

elegant

[Noah Vau - D2 (Cato)]

K I L L I A N   S T R A U S S

She stands and follows, and I led her through the halls past the bedrooms. Part of me wonders how she’s feeling, but the other part of me doesn’t care. She’s here for a reason, trapped within these walls like everyone else. It’s a sinister part of the plan, something many living on the outside will never know, yet it doesn’t stop me from caring and getting to know them on a little more personal level. Every footstep draws us closer, and each footstep is followed by silence as neither of us say a word.

Then we’re standing before the door, and I’m leaning against it wondering what she’ll think about when she peers inside. For so long I’ve yearned for someone to sit inside, and Aster seems like the type. She loves books, and she loves reading, and I enjoy them both so very much. And then I swing open the door, and I watch as she glares inside. The excitement dances within, and I can feel my heart fluttering inside my chest threatening to bounce through my ribs. It’s a wonderful feeling.

Just hearing her own excitement brings so much more joy. For now, the family matters are placed on hold, and all I want is to get to know her. To learn about her. To share this moment with her because it’s the first time someone has ever shown interest in this room. My library is everything to me, and nobody will ever tarnish it. Destroying this room would destroy me in ever way possible.

She asks if she can touch them, and then she asks what she can’t touch. Of course, she can touch the books, I have no problems with that, but hidden within the walls of this library is things I don’t want anyone to see or mess with right now. I’ve stored them away because nobody needs to practice with the vials hiding within sight.

"You can touch the books." I begin before shutting the door behind me. "All the books in here are at your disposal, but I ask that you return them to where they belong when you are finished." I have keen eyes, and I know when things are out of place, however, I don’t know how to answer her last question, so I just do the best I can. "Anything that isn’t a book, do not touch. Especially the poison vials." My voice is stern. It’s a warning, and if she dares cross the line, there will be consequences she wouldn’t want to suffer.

[cass]

a s t e r .

It tarnished long ago
The lake will overflow
Flood all I've ever known
Break walls and sever bones

"You can touch the books."

And that’s all I need to hear before I’m pulling the first one of the shelf that my fingers come in contact with. It’s heavy, a hardback covered book that feels very old. I’m gentle with it as I look over the cover, a finger running over the emboldened title. My jaw drops in awe, a shiver racing down my spine as I’m absorbed by the feeling of the book against my skin.

“Venom,” the title says, and I find the word falling from my lips before I can stop myself. I’m already fascinated, pulling it open to the first page as my eyes travel over the length of the page. It seemed that the book was all about venomous creatures that lived in the world back before Panem was created. My interest has peaked and I snap the cover closed, tucking the book under my arm. This one was definitely leaving with me.

My eyes roam around the room, searching for any other title that stands out, but I’m caught as soon as Killian finishes speaking.

“Poison vials?” I echo, glancing around the room to see if they’re nearby. I’d always wanted to see what poison actually looked like. Reading about it in stories left the entire notion of killing people with liquid as such an enigma. I wanted to know more about it, the possibilities were endless. From the moment I’d stepped foot into this household, I’d felt behind and very much so out of place.

I wasn’t strong and I had no intention of learning how to become proficient in weapons the same way all the other kids did. I was searching for something that I could manipulate and use to get ahead of the pack. A weapon laced in poison sounded appealing. Learning how to be sneakier, capable of slipping drops of toxins into bottles of water or food. That was more on my level of skills and ability.

“I want to learn more about poison,” I say, eyes trailing back to the books. If there was a book on venom there was bound to be one on poison, but-

I wanted more than that. Reading about it was one thing, but holding and touching? That was far more invaluable. I look back at Killian, “can you teach me about them?”

There was no doubt that he was an expert, and I had the sense that he appreciated when people showed excitement for things he loved.

elegant

[Noah Vau - D2 (Cato)]

K I L L I A N   S T R A U S S

The moment the words fell from my lips, I knew I made a mistake. What was I thinking? Why would I even let her know about poison vials hiding within the walls of this room? I shake my head trying to focus on what is standing before me. I can’t undo what I’ve said, but maybe this is a chance to really get to know her, and to see what makes her tick. I watch as she picks up a book titled Venom, and she’s already flipping it open, and then she asks about the poison vials. At first I want to stop her, and tell her that’s enough for today. She doesn’t need to know about them just yet. I can’t have a child running around telling everyone about the poison in this room. I can’t have them breaking into the library to find them. The last thing I need is for someone to come in and steal them, and then use them in a way they aren’t meant for. And of course she wants to learn more about them, and she wants me to teach her.

I’m not entirely sure what to do. I’m stuck between being mad at myself for speaking such foolish things, to being happy that she asked, and figuring out which one I want to feel more in tune with is difficult. Yet I allow a tiny smile to grow even larger. It’s been so long since anyone has ever asked to learn about what I can teach. It’s been a while since anyone has ever willingly wanted to step foot into the library and read through the books I’ve stockpiled over the years. I fix my gaze on her. "So you want to learn about poisons?" My voice is calm as I ask a simple question. Sometimes it’s difficult to gauge how a person will respond, but I require a task. At least, that’s what I want her to think. Learning comes with a price, and right now I’m unsure if teaching her about poison is worth it. She hasn’t been here very long, and I have to be careful. "Would you be willing to ingest one?"

I keep my face clear of emotion as the words linger in the air. I want her to question whether I’m being serious or not. I want her to wonder if I’m truly mad, or if I’m someone that’s going to randomly pop up and say never mind. Of course, I know the answer to this myself, but I have to let her wonder. So I wait a little hoping the question infiltrates her mind, and to make the offer even better, I add another statement to it. "I do have an antidote for the poisons." It’s too good of an offer to turn down. I keep the blank mask on my face as long as I can because I want to get some joy out of this. I want to see what she says, and see if she’s stupid enough to actually accept the task. Poison is deadly, and while I have an antidote, I wouldn’t want to use it just yet. It’s hard to come by, and I need it for medical emergencies only.

After a few moments pass, I decide to let the act go. "I’m not going to make you ingest the poison." A smile slowly spreads from ear to ear once more. "I’ll teach you about poisons, but I need you to read through the book you have in your hands, and write me an essay on it." It’s a fair trade. Before I introduce her to something dangerous, I need to make sure she’s willing to learn. I need to make sure she’s ready to take on the task because it’s not easy, and it’s something I’m not willing to show someone who isn’t interested in it. "You’ll know where to find me when you finish." I have some hope for her because she seems like the smart type. I just hope I haven’t judged wrong.