district eight reaping - [luella duval]

[Tom]

Nana always grew weary on the day of the reaping. The war and its connection to my parents always hanging heavy in the air over my head like a blade, ready to come down and chop down the last legacy of the Duval family. Every year since an official reaping was made, Nana always prepared the kids and I in the same way she did every year. Calmness in the center of a storm of anxiousness for someone who didn't deserve to deal with the fear of losing everything. A whisper in the halls of the orphanage as we're scrambling to do what we can to seem at least presentable before the populace. Analise and Amira passing by glancing through the mirror to reach my eyes.

Chaotic mornings like these were always my favorite type of mornings. Personalities flaring to life with genuine life flowing through our veins. Kids shouting and screaming and laughing with the life of Eight's revival, despite certain areas still being too dangerous to walk along for fear of the debris left behind from a war that was still healing. Nana's already told me multiple times to hurry up, but I want to soak in the room, let myself breath in the orphanage for what it is. A gathering of life and friends and loved ones that make me feel whole and not falling apart like I should have been.

"Luella!"

Rushing to slip my hands through my favorite jacket, toeing my feet into shoes as I rush down the stairs where Nana and the other kids who are lost in Eight reside. Smiles sent to each and every one of them before looking to my Nana whose eyes are watery from the clear sign of her having been close to tears if not crying moments before this. Softly, wrapping myself around her side before whispering the only comfort I could give to my scared older Nana.

"It'll be okay, Nana. We've made it through the past few."

Letting go, her eyes reach mine with a love that still makes me feel loved.

"You never know, sweetie. Today, any of you can be taken away from me."

A silence fills the room. Shuffling feet and a silence to let everyone ponder over my Nana's words. Last night, I caught her praying at her bedside. Whispering words of protection to all of them, praying they'll not end up like the dead kids from the games before. Rumors of the death games spreading like wildfire, until the reaping had been set up and made to be a place where kids go to die. Except, we weren't like them. We had one another, built a place that kept children out of the war and cooperated with the Keepers, despite all of the visits they had with us. It's quiet for a moment before my Nana continues with a whisper towards me.

"I-I can't lose another part of my family, Ellie."

Confidently, I let myself stand tall, knowing we've both lost so much already. My mother and father, Grandpa, and multiple kids to the Keepers raids back in the war. Loss seemed to follow us with a cold shiver of the morning air, always there looming over our shoulders. Grabbing my Nana's hand, letting us start the walk to the center of Eight where they've built a building as white as snow, glittering with the slight reminder of the capitol. Words on my tongue, feeling not quite right in the face of the worst men and women. Keeper lining people up like we were below them and in a sense, we were.

"You won't, Nana."

Suddenly, we're there with our hearts beating out of our chests, the air rigid with a cool afternoon air as I can feel my Nana grasp my hand tighter. Worry in every touch of our love for one another, it hurts to let go for just a moment on a terrifying day, but this isn't my first time stepping forward into the face of the men and women who killed my mother and father or took away the lives of my family. A chill runs down my spine as I hug both Analise and Amira, pushing away from them, letting myself smile back to them. Silently, I reach my Nana, let her hold me as long as she can before the words leave my lips.

"I love you, Nana."

Instantly, she responds.

"And I love you too, Ellie."

Letting go of her, scares me. My feet taking me in the direction where so many other kids just like me stand. Waiting to see if it's our turn to die, bleed like the men and women and children of the war, be another sacrifice to be had because of mistakes some of us have made. Adjusting my jacket, to block the child creeping through my heart as I stare the sea of white uniforms along the sides. Memories of seeing the rainbows tossed around during my times in eight before the war, where dyes were tossed back and forth at the white uniforms. Colored skies of a revolution my mother and father believed in, if only they could have seen the end result of their rebellion.

For a moment, I can't breath.

A name is pulled and the air grows hot.

Sounds of children sniffling in fear or trying to stand tall fills the air. Analise and Amira have closed their eyes and I am grasping at the edges of my jacket sleeves, trying to keep myself planted to the ground. White paper flashes and I can't hear anything other than the sound of my heartbeat. We're safe. We're safe. We have to be safe. It's a tense moment before the name is echoed along our ears, broken echoes of everything I lost. A wail of tears sounds from where Nana is and I know what's happened.

"Luella Duval!"

Trouble has found me once more.

Punishment for all the times I fought for my found family, bleed for them against the keepers who didn't have the right to take them away. I stare to my right and my left where the white uniformed men come from, smiling with the recognition of knowing it's me. They reach for my sleeves, but I shove forward, ignoring the angry that breaks on their faces. I shuffle my feet, pat down my shoulders before I show them all.

I am afraid.

I refuse to die being afraid of them.

"I don't need an escort."

Stepping on the stage, I can see Nana's tears, Analise and Amira holding one another, and the tears of so many other orphans from home. In the end, I should have known my mother and father's decisions would come back to bite me. The keepers already didn't like my refusal to let them have what they want. Control and fear is all they've ever wanted and I will not give them it. I will not back down from them like my Nana never backed down.

I straighten up, standing tall before Eight knowing the world will watch me die.

I refuse to die being afraid of them.