lost without you . charade jb!blitz

[cass]

A U D R E Y

The justice building loomed in front of her, death haunting each of her steps. They echoed within the silence of the halls, misery wailing against the walls as she unsteadily moved forwards. She could feel the pressure of the creeping doom, weighing on her shoulders with every movement. It was hard, dragging one foot after another as her eyes stared straight ahead. They were empty, red-rimmed and aching as she finally reached the door to Amelia’s room.

The peacekeeper looked at her, a moment of shock on his face, “how did you-“

“Shut the fuck up,” Audrey snapped, a thousand hours’ worth of anger swallowing her entire gaze as she glared at him. Identical they might be in appearance, but the two were opposites with their personalities. “It’s my twin sister you piece of shit.”

Before he could hit her or yell at her, she shoved the door open, riding the wave of anger as her courage faltered. She wasn’t brave enough for this; to face her twin and look her in the eye before she disappeared forever. The sight that greeted her was one she had never envisioned in her life. She didn’t want to do this, she didn’t want to end it all here, to return home with her mum and dad and listen to them silently weep.

Her mum and dad were a few minutes behind her, inconsolable and broken.

“Mum and dad-“ her voice broke, and she charged forwards, throwing herself into Amelia’s arms as the tears slipped relentlessly down her cheeks. “We can swap right now, Amelia, no one will know. Just put on my dress,” Audrey pulled off her shoes, yanking the socks off as she moved ta step away from Amelia.

“Please don’t do this, it was my name called, Ames,” she tugged the ribbon from her hair, letting the strands fall around her shoulders. Audrey offered it to her twin, eyes filled with pleading anguish. There was panic in her movements as she grabbed her twins arm.

“Please swap with me, they’ll never know. Ames, please-“ She sobbed.

H A L E

kaitlin

[charade]

A M E L I A

It was cold in the waiting room, colder than it had any right to be. She’d been alone with her thoughts after they’d taken her off the stage and dropped her in the justice building. Replaying her decision over and over in her head was already started to gnaw at her stomach. She could handle it, she hoped. Nine might have a long streak without victors, but they’d never had a Hale in the games either.

The door opened and Audrey rushed in. Amelia scrambled to get up for her seat as her twin and her collided into a frantic embrace. Amelia clung to her and cried. Audrey was safe, because she wasn’t. But she’d be okay, wouldn’t she? Audrey had always been the stronger one. Fiercer. Better with her fists than her head.

“Please don’t do this, it was my name called, Ames, we can swap right now, Amelia, no one will know. Just put on my dress,”

“Audrey—“ she began, her bottom lip trembling. Their poor parents. Either way they would have lost a daughter. Ha. Either way? Did that mean she was already mentally preparing herself to die? No, she couldn’t think like that. She was district nine through and through, a street angel. The games were something she could survive. “Drey no. They will. They have blood tests and cameras and dental records and—“

“Please swap with me, they’ll never know. Ames, please-“

“I did swap with you,” she said, a weak laugh and a dark joke to go with it as the tears spilled down her cheeks. “That’s why I’m here.” The enormity of what she’d done finally hit her. The half-baked remnants of a plan she’d made when she was fourteen were inadequate for this. Fighting, she could handle. Killing? It wasn’t that big of a leap. You saw and did all sorts of things when you earned fast cash running jobs for slumlords. But doing it without her sister by her side?

“Drey you know damn well that if the escort had said my name you would have volunteered immediately. I had to. I couldn’t let them—” Amelia cracked her knuckles nervously, the bravado she’d felt at the reaping had all but drained out of her. She’d signed her own death warrant. Traded herself for her sister. She told herself that getting killed would have happened sooner or later. The life they were hiding from their parents was one that rarely lasted long or ended well. Getting shot had reminded her of that.

“You’ve always protected me, Audrey. Cracking skulls and breaking fingers. My turn to protect you.”

Their parents entered the room and the last drops of courage she had evaporated as they too joined the hug.  What had she done? 

H A L E

kaitlin

[cass]

A U D R E Y

It was true. Without a doubt Audrey would have stepped forwards and taken Amelia's place. How many people had she killed? Six? Blood on her own hands to stop Amelia from ever having to carry that burden. She had failed. Here, Amelia stood before her ready to face twenty-four other kids to try and claim her own freedom. How many would she have to kill? How many lives would fall in front of her?

Neither of them was strangers to the world of brutality, of blood and wounds that destroy. Amelia had been shot, Audrey carrying her through the streets as she slowly died in front of her eyes. She knew how to fight and withstand pain and think of ways to get them out of danger.

But that was part of the problem. She knew how to do it when it was Audrey piecing together her ideas and working through them as she mumbled strings of words through blood-stained lips. Audrey could read beneath her words, could see the raise of an eyebrow and know to close her lips. Amelia knew how to work with her twin, knew how to carry out seamless plans with each other. It was a bond that was supposed to last their lifetime.

"You protect me every time we go out on a job," she stumbled over the words, fingers gripping Amelia's shoulders as separation set itself into her gaze. "I- I rely on your for everything, I can only do those things because you're there to get me out of trouble." I only take those lives to stop you from having to do it.

There was blood on her hands, seeping into Amelia's shirt as tears fell down her cheeks. She'd tainted her twin- infected her with the bloodlust, with the disease that flowed through her own veins.

"I did it-" she choked on the words, a hand slipping from Amelia's shoulder. "I took all those lives so you'd never have to do it, so you'd never have to live with their ghosts."

It hurt so much. Her chest felt like it was going to explode. The next words caught on her lips died as her parents entered. They didn't know what Amelia and Audrey did in the night. And she knew both herself and her twin would protect them from that truth- they'd take this secret to their graves.

"Please-"

It was all she could say.

H A L E

kaitlin

[charade]

A M E L I A

Audrey’s words bit deeper than the bullet had. They synergized so well, they knew each other’s thoughts. And yet each of them saw the other as the one that could handle being alone. Fuck, it was true, wasn’t it? How many times had Amelia smoothed things over with someone that Audrey’s abrasive personality had rubbed the wrong way? But that was why she thought Audrey would be okay. There was always a need for enforcers. Someone, some crew, some boss. They’d give Audrey orders. Make the plans for her. It’d all work out. It had to.

And she was tormented. Audrey had taken it upon herself to finish off the people Amelia had injured in turf disputes to keep her from slipping over the edge. And here she was, diving headlong over it. “It’s—it’s okay sis. It’s okay. We do what we have to, right? This is what I have to do. It’s better this way.” Be strong, she told herself. Be strong for Audrey. Make her proud. Unleash the beast. Outthink them.

The pain in her chest was so heavy. Like her heart was being squeezed. It wasn’t right, the two of them being separated like this. It was supposed to be the two of them against the world. Not this. There was so much more she wanted to say and not enough time. They’d kept their nightly activities a secret for a reason. It was better for all of them if their parents thought that they were sneaking out to party or going on dates.

“Goodbye Audrey,” she whispered, her composure threatening to break. There were only two outcomes for the equation in front of her. One was good, one was bad but she couldn’t bring herself to say anything about either one. A five percent chance of survival was where she was at. It wouldn’t improve until people started dying. “Goodbye.” She repeated, holding her sister tightly for what was likely to be the last time.

H A L E

kaitlin

[cass]

A U D R E Y

The words felt so final that Audrey couldn’t stop the sob from tearing itself from her lips. Even as the Peacekeeper’s opened the door and demanded that her family leave, she remained. Her mother and father took uncertain steps backwards, tears running down their cheeks as they stared at their daughter. Amelia had always been the soft one, the one they’d rely on if they wanted things done.

A part of Audrey knew that Amelia was the favourite. It didn’t bother her, because Amelia was her favourite as well. Amelia was the one that sat down with their dad when he was struggling to pay bills. Audrey sat in the shadows trying to think of who they could bully to get money whilst Amelia helped.

Maybe Audrey was capable of helping their dad when he needed the roof fixed or a wall patched up- but Amelia was the one that helped their mum in the kitchen. She would take her time to read a book and talk to mum about all the amazing things within its pages. She was the heart and soul of this family, the pieces that kept them together. Audrey didn’t know how to be their daughter without Amelia there to guide her. She didn’t know how to exist without her twin.

“It’s not better this way,” she sobbed, fingers unwilling to let go of Amelia’s sleeve even when the Peacekeeper pulled at her arm. “This family needs you more than it needs me.”

Was Amelia blind to her own strength? To the small things that she did time and time again that made everything okay? They needed her, they needed Amelia more than they needed Audrey. She was leaving them, going away to a world that would force her to partake in activities Audrey had tried so hard to protect her from. “I can’t protect you anymore- it’s the one thing I’ve always been good it.”

The Peacekeeper pulled harder, and Audrey felt the spark of anger bloom through her entire being as she turned her red-ringed eyes onto his built frame. Her lip curled, driving her sadness into rage as she snarled at him.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she hissed, venom in her words as she yanked her arm free from his grasp. Her fists were clenched tightly at her sides, and she remained there, frozen for a moment until she felt Amelia’s hand on her shoulder. The tension vanished in an instant, a deep aching pain settling through her entire body as she faced her twin sister.

Goodbye Audrey.

It broke her, heart shattering into a thousand pieces as she stared at her twin. The warmth lingered on her shoulder, even as she pulled away. It remained with every step she took towards the door.

“Please come home, Amelia. I can’t do this without you.” The worse left her lips like a whisper, torn from a bleeding heart. Audrey paused at the door, tears slipping from her eyes as she stared at Amelia. This couldn’t be it. This couldn’t be the last time she’d ever see her twin. They were supposed to be forever.

“Please come home.”

H A L E

kaitlin