I don't know how to swim . charade

[cass]

A S T E R

This was a world built to destroy. It bared down on her from the moment she had seen those two names scrawled onto white paper. She'd stared, unable to tear her wide-eyes away from the reality of what that meant. So simple, so elegant. It meant death.

One of them would die.

Everyone around her seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, another year slipping by as they scramble to keep their heads above the water. Aster Strauss does not know how to swim, she can already feel it dragging her under as she tries desperately to cling to the shore. But the hands of Octavia pull her away and demand that she learn to swim or die. The only help she has is a small plank of wood, thrown her way by Killian as she works desperately to stay within his good graces.

The arena before her was terrifying, built from the dead that layers it with blood. Her eyes trail over the scratches that litter the walls of this prison as she is lead to her seat beside Isabella. She swallows stiffly, fingers trembling beneath the lacey sleeves she was forced to wear. Her legs almost collapse beneath her, in time to meet the hard wooden chair that is burdened with her name.

Above her name it says Meredith, carved into wood and banished with a single violent stroke. Aster stares at it, a finger running over the splintered wood as she thinks back to the girl she had seen on the television. Aster had liked her, she had seemed strong and determined to die in her own way, unwilling to fall victim to the cruel game that Octavia plays with them. Maybe one day, she too would be brave or strong enough to take a stand against this horrifying nightmare.

Today was not that day. Instead, she found her wavering gaze slowly focusing on the two boys standing in the dirt ring. Finn sat on her other side, and she wants to look at him, search his face for some sign of anger or disgust at what was before them. She holds back, teeth biting into her lip as she digs her shaking fingers into the wooden chair.

Her stomach heaves, pushing through to her chest as she watches the swords clatter into the dirt. The sound echoes with the cries of a reaper, torn through the darkness with the promise of death.

"You may begin."

Mum, she pleads, please don't let them suffer.

S T R A U S S

kaitlin

[charade]

i s a b e l l e .

Come away little lamb
Come away to the water
Give yourself so we might live a new
Come away little lamb
Come away to the slaughter

It’s that time again.

The basement is decorated with care, I’m in my fancy dress and the dress shoes that pinch my toes and it looks like Aster is sitting in Meredith’s old seat. Two seats are empty though. Elijah and Linus are down on the sand and Linus is looking at me like he wants to kill me. I don’t know why though; I didn’t even kick him in his shin that hard. Oh, wait. Did I tell him he was probably safe cause the older kids are bigger disappointments?

Oops. I guess I was wrong. Dang. I guess Victor really does hate Linus that much.

“I believe in you Linus!” I shout, waving the little flag I made that has his name on it. It’s a napkin taped to a pencil, but it works. “Linus can clear a sinus!” it’s the only word I could think of that rhymes. “Wooo!” Olivia likes it when we cheer. Says it adds atmosphere. It’s like a mini-capitol with a mini games. I wonder if one day she’ll get tired of all of us and just have us all fight at the same time. Winner takes all.

But Aster doesn’t seem to be handling this too well. First time’s the hardest, that’s what Victor says. And anyway it’s not like she’s related to either of them. Not really. But she better wise up fast. If she doesn’t watch or she doesn’t make an effort to enjoy herself, they are going to come down on her like a hammer. I shake my bag of treats. This is best part. That Olivia actually gets real concessions like they have in the Capitol for this. I’ve got buttery popcorn and these little chocolate ball things and potato chips and even some saltwater taffy.

Never watch blood spill on an empty stomach.

I smile, holding the bag of popcorn out to her. “You want some? This is gonna take a while. It’s not like when people refuse, then Victor just drops down and stabs them both.” I take a handful and crunch on it. I don’t know how they get it to be so yellow but it’s so, so good. “Last time, it was my sister versus Finn,” I swing my legs back and forth over the chair. My legs don’t quite reach the ground just yet. “You can probably guess who won that one.”

[cass]

A S T E R

Aster’s head snaps to the side as Izzy speaks. There’s something both terrifyingly messed up and comical about the sight beside her. The younger girl is dressed up in the same way they’ve all been forced to preen and glow for this brutal display. But she sat there, to Aster’s complete disbelief, waving a flag (if you could call it that) as though this was some lively competition where no one was going to die. What was more- she had snacks.

Snacks.

Her stomach curled, bile rising to the back of her throat as Izzy’s chant echoed in the mess before them. Then suddenly, the girl was facing her, offering her popcorn like it was a Sunday carnival. The words die on Aster’s lips as she stared numbly at Izzy, wide eyes unsure of what to even say. How do you respond that that comment?

Aster resisted the urge to look at Finn, well aware that she was currently sitting between two people who hated each other. Finn had killed Izzy’s sister, and here Aster was, sitting right beside a murderer and a psychotic teenager. There was destruction all around her, and she reached forwards with a shaking hand to pluck a few pieces of popcorn from Izzy’s bowl.

“Thank you,” she swallowed, the lump in her throat refusing to budge as she twisted her watery gaze back to the ring before her. Linus had already grabbed his sword, gaze tense and tight as he clung to the metal that would save his life. Just watching the way, he moved, Aster was sure he would attack and try and win. But the reality was that she knew nothing about either of these two individuals. She didn’t want either of them to die, not when she hadn’t even been able to speak with them.

“Do you think they’ll both fight then?”

The words left her mouth as Linus lunged, blade digging into flesh as he fought for his life. He pulled back, revealing a shallow wound that made Aster’s blood turn to ice. Her hand tightened around the popcorn, crushing it in one moment. She felt the kernels dig into her flesh and wondered how much that cut had hurt Elijah. Anything more than that would break her, she had no strength, no pain tolerance. She was nothing in the face of this kind of terror.

“How do you do it? Attack someone?”

S T R A U S S

kaitlin

[charade]

i s a b e l l e .

Come away little lamb
Come away to the water
Give yourself so we might live a new
Come away little lamb
Come away to the slaughter

I stick my tongue out at Finn, but I don’t think he saw. Or he’s just ignoring me. A lot of them do that. I know I’m annoying and a stupid little kid, but it’s okay. Who would want a little sister like me? My own sister didn’t love me enough to fight Finn so, I get it. My fake sister left me here to die for strangers so its ok, I get. Really. I’m not mad or anything. Besides, I’ll outlive all of them and dance on their graves so why would I even be mad?

Well, I would dance. But all of them are gonna be unmarked so. Can’t dance if I can’t find them. “You’re welcome!” I don’t want her to pass out, not when Octavia is watching. She’ll get in trouble, and then I might get in trouble because I’m sitting next to her. She asks another first grade question and I’m about to tell her that I really hope so, but it doesn’t matter. Linus draws first blood. I clap loudly, waving the flag. “Yay, Linus!” I shrug, I don’t really know.

I’ve only attacked people during sparring sessions. Well, ok so I kick people in the shins a lot but does that really count? That’s not what she’s asking anyway. “If you don’t want to attack people for reals then train hard so you won’t wind up down there. It’s real easy, and yet people are still dumb.” If you don’t want to die, give the adults a reason to keep you around. Annabelle couldn’t understand that. She let her feeling get in the way and wouldn’t even touch a weapon.

I hate to say it, but I think I’d be sad if Aster died too. Not like sad, sad, but like. I’m only just getting used to her. I don’t want to have to get used to another new kid. And she talks to me without telling me to go away or thinking I’m going to run and tell the adults what they are doing. Yeah, I may only be thirteen but I’m not stupid. I know what they think of me.

“L I N U S! L is for lucky, I is for—“

Well, I was gonna say idiot but he won’t like that.

[cass]

A S T E R

Her response is exactly what Aster had expected. Izzy is straight to the point, brutally honest and unforgiving. But Aster finds that she doesn’t mind it. There’s something almost reassuring about the fact that she doesn’t try to be someone else, she doesn’t seem to lie when she talks to Aster. With the amount of distrust brewing between adopted siblings within the Strauss household it was like seeing a freshly painted canvas amongst ones stained by blood.

It doesn’t mean that her advice makes reality any easier. Of course, it’s easy for kids like Izzy who have grown up with a sword in hand since she arrived here. Aster was sixteen years old and as thin as a stick and with as much muscle as a man-made of paper. She was as charming as a slug and had seen the dirty looks Octavia had thrown her way plenty enough times to know she was nothing special.

Killian was her saving grace, a small glimpse of light that she was hoping to use to guide her to safety. She was smart enough to keep up with him, devouring each and every book he threw her way like it was nothing. There had to be more to it, it felt like all the readings she was given were like a pre-game set up to something that would make her skin crawl. She’d heard of his poison lessons, and how the other kids had suffered through experiencing the symptoms of each and every poison he chose. Aster was sure he’d get her to do that at some point, maybe make it another educational lesson for the whole household.

She turned away from Izzy just in time to see Elijah swing his sword. The blade cut into Linus’ stomach. The words that came from Elijah’s mouth chilled Aster and she stared at the older boy, eyes wide as she tried to piece together the story before her.

“Has Elijah done this before?” She asked Izzy, unable to turn her gaze away from the curly-haired boy. She’d heard that he loved books, and she wondered what he must have done to be turned away from Killian. Part of her wished she could ask him, find out how to protect herself from ending up where he was. “Has he killed someone?”

The answer was already there. Aster just hadn’t quite yet opened her eyes to the reality of the people around her. There were killers buried between the walls of this house. Hell, she had forgotten that Finn had killed Izzy’s sister, too lost in the gentle sadness that seemed to radiate from him. “I mean, I know, I- I’ve guessed that there must be some of you who have.”

She looked back at Izzy, almost pleading as she asked, “who else has killed?”

Did she really want to find out?

S T R A U S S

kaitlin

[charade]

i s a b e l l e .

Come away little lamb
Come away to the water
Give yourself so we might live a new
Come away little lamb
Come away to the slaughter

You know something? Elijah acts really tough in front of all of us, but I don’t think the adults like him. I know he’s angry all the time cause I’m angry all the time and he has the same face. But I think he’s scared too. Scared he won’t measure up. He’s acting like he expected to be fighting again, but if he expected it, why didn’t he do better in training so that he wouldn’t be? That’s just dumb. He had a chance and he wasted it.

I think I understand why the adults hate weakness so much. If you act like a victim, the world will make you one. “Wow, you’ve got to stay on top of things,” Oh, it’s all of the oldest kids basically. I wasn’t here for it, but before victor killed the twins for not fighting a bunch of people died. Let me see.I already reminded her about Finn of course, that great big dummy that he is.

I tap my leg thoughtfully.

“Elizabeth and Beau did for sure.” I don’t get it. Elizabeth is really cool but Beau is a stump that spends all day kissing Octavia’s butt. You’d think they’d be the same, having survived a fight already but Beau is a dummy. “Uh, Declan.” He mopes almost as much as Finn. I don’t like that he’s always trying to be my big brother even though he hates himself. Just bury your emotions like the rest of us. Weakling. That’s what Victor says anyway, I’m just repeating it.

“And uh this is the second time Elijah’s been down there.”

Victor’s wanted me to learn about the past so I know what to do and what not to do. I dunno what all the dead kid’s names were but if you do enough searching around the house, you can find their stuff. I point at Finn’s chair where the name carmen which has been scratched out. “Nobody pissed them off like Meredith, so they didn’t erase them. They were still weak though.” It’s the truth otherwise they’d still be here. I shrug.

“I was eleven when me and my sister came here. Now it’s just me, but that’s because I train hard. You won't ever see me down there.”

Boy, this popcorn is just the best.

[cass]

A S T E R

There's more names falling from her lips then Aster had anticipated. She's not sure why it shocks her, and her gaze flickers to each face as the blood seamlessly flows across their hands. Her heartbeat quickens and she avoids looking at Finn, refusing to give into the aching temptation to see if he's been listening to their conversation.

He had killed someone. He'd killed Isabelle's sister. From the few loose stories she'd heard and whispers from Fiona, it had been a very quick and brutal fight. Aster didn't blame him. Not from the moment, she'd heard about it, and she knew she wouldn't blame either of the kids in the ring in front of her. It was a simple equation- the desire to live predicting the outcome. There was no fault in wanting to survive, no blame that she could pass on. The burden of carrying that wound was enough, and even then, none of them deserved to carry it. The choices they'd been given sucked. Kill or die. Refuse to kill and die.

This place was horrible.

"Meredith seemed," Aster paused, biting her lip as she mulled over the correct way to respond, "brave."

She left it there, unwilling to push it further sensing a bit of frost lacing Meredith's name. Aster was sure that there was no way Isabelle would ever end up down there, she seemed like stone, built to withstand whatever was thrown at her. Aster wondered what she had been like before the darkness within this house had corrupted her. Twisting her soul until it was unrecognisable and she became so broken and defiant.

"I don't think we ever would," she agreed. She turned to look at the ring just in time to watch Linus swing again. His blade struck flesh, another shallow cut appearing on Elijah's skin as blood welled to the surface. Aster swallowed, a queasy uncertain feeling rolling in her stomach as she found herself unable to look away. Throwing up wouldn't be out of the equation, and a few black dots were gathering at the corners of her eyes. She was sure she looked as pale as a ghost.

"You'll definitely make it out of this house alive, Izzy."

She wished she could say the same for herself.

S T R A U S S

kaitlin