vienna evenfall /5 cbd #2

[✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]

vee
16
sinning in church vibes

[✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ]

Ivy encroaching on my window stalls me in the same way a light in my eyes might. When did it grow so thick, so twisted? I can barely see through it.

Mama raised me right, it's not her fault. She gave me my first personal bible when I was six. The cover was pink, pink for girls. I drew a little mouse in the middle, right under psalm 118, named him Christopher. I can't remember why. Maybe it was after the Saint.

I was belted once before breaking. Came home from kindergarten with a ring of flower stems around my finger and someone's last name hitched to mine. After the belting I was praying on my knees for an hour, hands bound in prayer by a piece of kitchen twine. It scratched at my wrists, made me itch.

I was in a chastity belt until I was fourteen when the first boy broke it off. He said he only took metal shop to figure out how, I thought that was romance. It sort of is. Mama thinks I still put it on every day. I do, I take it off a block from the house, stow it in my backpack.

I kiss other kids in the bathroom stalls at school, a gold cross gleaming around my neck like a beacon in the dark.

Then I go home and a block away, I put the belt back on, broken.

Sort of like my mother's trust.

[[ retro gm ] angel lí ✨]

*squints* a white girl???