superstar rhapsody in a minor ♕ by high councillor, bay

[D6f Carmen Cantelou [aza]]

Nobody was expecting me to actually get here. I mean, neither was I—skipping events in favour of betting at the most prestigious casinos under a pseudonym. Hidden behind the biggest pair of designer sunglasses so that nobody could identity me, let alone see my poker face. Thank Ripred they were Sunny C. sunglasses, because if anyone leaked my whereabouts to the press, it would've been completely over. Like, really over.

The dead kind of over.

And sure, I've been crucified in the public eye before, but it's different now. I'm not some sort of religious figure who can just rise from the dead whenever I feel like it; there's planning and procedure behind securing my place in the history books. I've already been cancelled for saying inconsiderate things, for wearing outfits which were last season, for confusing one victor with another, for posting a video of me dancing over a certain president's grave—but my management were able to spin media outlets into being on my side.

I wasn't dancing on Snow's grave, I was celebrating his life. It's different.

I probably shouldn't do stuff like that anymore. I'm an important public figure, wait, more than that—an important, political, public figure. I don't think that will stop me, though. There is a whole District that has been placed under my supervision, though... and yeah, the thought of that is kinda scary, but oh my Ripred, I've just become one of the most powerful people in the Capitol, too. People are going to idolise me, and not in the same way I was after being voted Rear of the Year after being on The Bachelorette.

Crazy how I've managed to go from some Z-list reality star with a slight superiority complex and last year's fashion. Now I'm teetering on the edge of the A-list, still with a slight superiority complex, sure, but totally wearing next year's fashion. Sometimes I think about my time on The Bachelorette and think about how much of a desperate, whiny, heart-on-my-sleeve kind of gal I was. I count my lucky stars everyday that people online managed to bully me into the person I am today.

And maybe I do miss my old self sometimes. I miss the simplicity of making friends that were so normal, so different, that you could just talk to each other for hours on end. I miss my studio apartment because I have so much space now that I'm always lonely. Maybe I shouldn't have been so caught up in the game back then, maybe I should've been myself a little bit more, made more friends who meant something rather than acquaintances in high places, and maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't have got so many fillers. I guess the naivety of being young and wanting to be famous taught me that fame isn't everything. Legacy is.

So, here I am: a few flutes of champagne down and feeling it, that's for sure. 

I think I'm expected to give some sort of speech thanking donors and being grateful for everything that has happened. But, really, do they think I'm in any state to say anything meaningful when there's a free bar?

A host starts to usher me to the stage, shooing me on with their hands. My manager stands in the back and words a phrase to me, but honestly, things are blurred and I have no idea what she said. Probably something about not making a fool of myself or fucking things up. Has she no faith in me at all? I mean, come on. Time and place.

"So," I steady myself on the podium. "I've been elected to the High Council. And you know what? That's really, really cool." The lights on this stage are a bit bright. "You know, it's even cooler because I got District Four. And to that I say... Four? One, two, three." I nod my head with great emotion, pointing a finger out to the crowd. "Because you... yes, you... can count on me." I pretend to wipe a tear from my eye before taking another swig of my drink, swallowing it down with a sigh of relief. "Thank you all for coming."

I start to leave the stage but then realise I have more to say, so turn back and nudge past the host to regain my place at the podium. "You know, I'm just so happy and grateful for everything I have right now. Like, thank you for selecting me for this Council position. I'm not the tanked flop you think I am, like, I'm better than that, and I'm going to be Four's guardian angel. All the best beaches have a Bay." The crowd gasps a little bit. Sometimes I forget that everyone here sympathises with the Capitol a lot more than I do. "I mean, guardian angel, pffttt, I mean, uh, I'll put those little... whippersnappers into line. Thank you for coming."

I start to leave the stage but then realise I have even more to say. I mean, it's not often you get a night dedicated to something you've done. And right now, I'm just so full of emotion with everything that has happened. I just want to show my thanks.

"Okay, I'm back. I just wanna say," I take hold of the microphone and start swaying to a silent beat. "My mom used to sing me this and it feels so appropriate right now that I just want to share my talent with you all."

"Lean on me... when you're not strong... no? Nobody knows it? Shall I keep going? I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on..."

^{song: lean on me by bill withers}