my brain's not reading, my heart's still beating // D8 train
Feb 9, 2021 20:10:35 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2021 20:10:35 GMT -5
l o r r a i n e
So step one is over with, I haven't cried yet.
That's a good sign, I think. I still feel confident, like I haven't made a bad decision yet. Personally, I think I'm pretty self-aware, I'm a rational person, this is just extreme measures. It isn't cross and bones casket level yet, I'm not dead -- just working on that part. Big work in progress there, but I have the funeral in mind. I want to be rich and famous when I'm dead, so there's a lot to catch up on, I guess.
One train ride until it's interview after interview, and I get to be a celebrity. I get to be Lorraine, the one I've had in my head since I was a six year old girl watching Shelby Leviane kill three people on her last day. There's a girl that lives on that television that hasn't been seen in ages, and maybe that's why I'm so sure of myself boarding the train. The escort holds my hand and I hoist myself up in my good heels, Kane behind me -- "come on lover boy, we've got history to make!"
Like a laugh that hallows in the mind, the air feels so much more dense inside the train. Windows beyond windows and it's like I'm staring at district eight in higher definition, eye sight better than my own as I take in every face and every thought. People who lost no one, "do you have family out there, Kane? Not to be depressing," because I feel like I've got no one. Perhaps that's a good thing, nothing gained nothing lost.
Low risk, high reward.
My life's a good gamble at this point, this feels... right. Like I'm finally killing every shit memory and feeling left in eight, and I don't belong there- I haven't in a long ass time! Maybe the Capitol will treat me better.
They'll at least give me a mercy killing. Makes things a little easier.