bear simmons . d12 . fin

[k!ah]

Bear Simmons
16

[k!ah]

b e a r .

Unrequited love was something very complicated.

When you yearned for someones touch only to know that it will forever be out of reach, it hurts, it physically hurts.

I never meant to fall for him, he was my best friend.

But I did.

I fell for him.

I fell for the boy next door.

*

"Bear, Bear! Where are your sisters? They should be getting ready for school. They should be in the kitchen." Ma's face is covered in thin lines, hair streaked with greys, she was to young to look this old. After losing Pa and taking the weight of the family onto her shoulders it started taking a toll on her body. "Bear! Bear are you listening?" She wipes her hands on her aprons, running one through her hair, her eyes flicking over to me. "I need your help-" She always needed my help.

"Yes, Ma, I'm listening. I'll get them. Stop stressing, I'll take care of it." I always did. That was my job now. I was the oldest and it was my responsibility to take care of my younger siblings... And my Ma understood that, knew that, though she did not like to admit it. She hated that the responsibility fell on my shoulders, and she wished that she could remove it, that she could do all of it on her own... But with seven mouths to feed, she needed help... And she hated that she had to yield those responsibilities to me, but she knew that there was just no other way for all of us to survive. So she did.

"I know you will... I know," she says almost defeated, tired eyes meeting my own, masked by a small smile. "Thank you."

I return her smile before moving out of our small cramped kitchen, banging loudly on my sisters door. There were four of them, squashed into a room that was barely big enough for one. "Oi, hurry up!" I shout through the door, giving it a swift hard slap. "Better be out in the next five minutes or I'll kick your asses." Shouts fire back and I find myself smiling as I hear the sound of a thud, no doubt a pillow hitting the door, a growl chasing it, piss off, Bear! 

*

The door shuts behind me, my sisters chatting relentlessly, my brothers trailing not far behind. But I barely notice them, my eyes drawn to the boy next door. He says something as he shuts the door, eyes meeting mine with that wide goofy smile that has my heart racing and my palms sweaty. Licking my lips nervously I return his smile, giving him a low wave as he moves to fall into step with me and the Simmon's pack.

"Morning."

I was going to tell him how I felt, I was, I just didn't know how. I wanted him to know. I felt like I needed him to know. But I was terrified. Terrified that if I told him that he would never look at me the same way. That I might ruin a friendship, a relationship, that was extremely important to me. A friendship that I didn't know how I could live without. But I was even more terrified that he might even feel the slightest bit the same. What if he recipricated my feelings? what if he kissed me? I feel a blush rise to my cheeks and I have to turn away, my gaze cast to the ground.

I wanted to kiss him. I've always wondered what it might be like, to have him in my arms, his lips again my skin, my fingers in his hair. Thoughts that would always be locked away in the back of my mind, padlocked for a time when I found the courage to do the thing that I feared the most.

Taking deep breath I turn to look at Hermes, fingers ringing around each other nervously. To most I might come off as standoff ish and rude, it came with the territory when you dabbled with illegal dealing in the black-market. The small convenience store run by the family was not enough, too many mouths to feed and not enough cash coming through the door. I had no choice but to take a step into the world dealing with illegal deals made under the cover of the night.

"Hermes-" I love you "- Ma was wondering if you and your family wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow night?"

Next time, I promise myself.

[k!ah]

Hi, he is complete <3

ripred_bot

[Deleted]

is that *sniffs air* gay yearning? i smell??