toxicity.— [zedekiah/adrian/killua]

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Adrian was hoping tonight went well. Today was the first time he's spoken to Zedekiah after telling him he was now in a committed relationship. He emphasized that while he no longer wanted to flirt with him, he definitely wanted to remain friends. He felt bad about it, he did. Zed was a really nice guy once you got past his cold exterior. And part of Adrian wondered if he made the right decision. But, it was too late to change his mind now.

He was also worried about how Killua would behave around Zed. Killua did not like careers in general and didn't bother hiding that. He also knew Killua getting into an argument with his dad didn't help his distaste for careers. Plus, there was the fact he knew about Zed's and Adrian's past. He could understand that he might feel jealous, he would probably feel the same in all honesty. He just hoped he didn't misplace that anger onto Zed.

That's the main thing he was worried about, tempers running high. Both Killua and Zedekiah had tempers and had rough home lives. Killua had his issues with his mother and father pretending he never existed. On the other hand, Zed had his dad both physically and verbally abusing him. Neither of them needed anymore stress in their lives. That's why Adrian chose his house - a neutral space.

He had planned for them to hang out in the living room, if all else fails they could watch news coverage discussing the upcoming Hunger Games. While they hadn't started yet, newscasters still replayed clips of the opening ceremony, discussed what they did know about the tributes, and made speculations about this years arena and other factors. It was grim news, but it was better than a full on brawl.

He had brought out some blankets onto the couch in case anyone got cold, completely ignoring the fact that he owned a fireplace. He also put snacks and drinks out on the table - plus he locked up his dads alcohol so a certain person wasn't tempted to drink. On the table he had chips, popcorn, fruit, cookies, and brownies. As far he drinks he had various soda, juices, and some water as well. He hoped that that would be enough to distract them from ripping each others throats out.

Then he heard the first knock on the door and went to answer it.

ADRIAN NAVARRE

by sixsmith.
400 words
lyrics by bastille

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

tw for Zedekiah's posts: domestic abuse, toxic relationships, alcoholism, child abuse

Although the news of Adrian being in a relationship didn't exactly bother you, you weren't really too thrilled with the idea of meeting the guy he called Killua. You didn't know anything about him, and for some reason, even hearing the name gave you a bad vibe. You supposed, however, if Adrian was happy with him, he couldn't be too bad, right? Hoping dearly that you were right, you'd agreed to meet the guy. You hated meeting strangers who you didn't know anything about. At least if this guy were a career or something, you'd have something in common, but you didn't even know enough about him yet to know that.

One thing that you had decided prior to going over to Adrian's house was that you needed something to calm your nerves before you did so. So, you did exactly what you normally would have done, but definitely shouldn't have. You downed a couple of beers before you went over there. It wasn't enough to make you drunk in particular, but it was just enough to calm the nerves. You knew it wouldn't have been smart to bring drinks with you, as Adrian would come at your throat for that decision.

The one thing you realized you didn't really think ahead about when you got up to the door was that you still had the slight smell of booze on your breath. Well, shit. That wasn't good. Adrian was the one who'd gotten you to at least not drink every day, but he probably didn't know that you hadn't completely given it up. You supposed that he would find out now, though. You just hoped that Killua wouldn't react too badly about it either. Then again, why did you give a shit what the new guy thought?

You knocked on the door and Adrian opened it to answer.

"Hey," you started. "Mind if I come in?"

As you headed inside, you looked around to see that Killua wasn't there yet.

"Mind telling me a bit about this guy, man? Just so I know what to expect?" You shift on your feet. You feel rather awkward, as he hadn't told you much at all. "I literally know nothing about him other than that you two are apparently a thing," you paused a moment before realizing that you should continue. "Which isn't a problem, I just want to know what he's like a little bit first, you know what I mean?"

Before you could get a response, though, there was another knock at the door.

-----

417 words

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx

[bailee]

killua kravitz.

get me drinking that moonshine
get me higher than a grocery bill
take my troubles to the high wall
throw them in the river and get your fill

Spending the afternoon with Adrian's ex-fling was not his idea of fun. So, he got high.

Hours leading up to the event, Killua's dread grew larger and larger. And each time the thought of Adrian flirting, touching, and texting Zedekiah crossed his mind, the more the urge to smoke grew. Thus, his lungs became the noble sacrifice to Killua's jealousy. Over the course of the morning, one bowl turned into two. Than three. Than four. And there stood Killua, red eyed and bushy tailed, wrapping on Adrian's door, astronomically higher than the first time he smoked after his last tolerance break.

He entered Adrian's home and haphazardly tossed his shoes to the side, flashing a lazy peace sign to the two boys who had already made themselves at home on the couch. His hoodie reeked of marijuana plant mixed with an absurd amount of cologne at a desperate attempt to hide the smell. He eyed Zedekiah, who sat next to Adrian. The career bastard was everything Killua wasn't - strong, handsome and not high. He decided in that moment that he disliked him already.

His disdain at the sight of Zed quickly turned into joy when he spotted Adrian. He quickly padded over to him and kneeled over for a quick peck on lips. Adrian's lips on Killua's made his heart thump just a tad bit faster, and the fuzzy feeling from his high intensity. In his current state, he forgot how intoxicating Adrian's touch was. He promptly plopped down on the couch next to his new boyfriend, assuming his regular position with his legs draped over his lap. This time, he haphazardly played with Adrian's shirt, pulling and twisting the fabric through his fingers in a flirtatious manner. "Hi," he cooed at Adrian, smiling as he did so.

Then he remembered the elephant in the room. The dumb fucking career that Adrian insisted Killua meet. His smile faded as he nodded at the other boy, acknowledging his presence. "Sup," he greeted, as he tried his best to hide his displeasure with him. Killua knew one thing for certain. At the end of this meeting, Zedekiah would know exactly who Adrian belonged to.

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Adrian was glad to see that Zed had showed up first, he wanted to give him a little bit of a warning about Killua. Zed deserved to know a few things before meeting him. The first was to tone down the career thing and not really mention it much. He didn't want that to cause any drama. Even Adrian himself didn't really bring up his training a lot around Killua. He knew it was a sensitive topic, for both of them. Killua wouldn't understand it as a coping mechanism and Zed wouldn't understand Killua's annoyance with the topic. It would just be easier if it was dropped.

The second thing he wanted to warn him about was the weed thing. Killua was a major stoner, and he wanted him to know there's a chance he'd show up high. And sometimes he got extra clingy and touchy when he was high too and didn't want Zed to be shocked or uncomfortable. He would prefer if neither of them showed up drunk or high, but obviously that wasn't going to be happening today. When he smelled the alcohol on Zed's breath he didn't say anything but gave him a disappointed look. He was extra glad he didn't say anything when Killua showed up high otherwise he'd be a hypocrite.

But as they sat down to talk, another knock was heard. But before Adrian could even give up, Killua let himself into the house. So Adrian decided to let him come over instead of walking him into the living room. And as soon as Killua walked in the house he could smell it, the weed. He gave him the same disappointed look as he had given Zedekiah. And of course today was one of the days where his highness meant clinginess and touching. He definitely didn't mind making out with Killua, it just felt like an asshole move considering the flirting that they were doing. At least they never hooked up.

He ignored the feeling of Killua playing with his shirt as he grabbed a bottle of water from the table. He sipped from the bottle, trying not to explode already. These boys were both testing his patience today. Zedekiah was testing his patience by showing up drunk. Killua was testing his patience with everything right now. Why did he think this was a good idea? Either way he was stuck dealing with the consequences of his actions now. At least one of them were sober so he could be the adult in the situation.

"Zedekiah, this is my boyfriend Killua Kravitz. Killua, this is a good friend of mine named Zedekiah Luna or just Zed for short. I was hoping you'd both be sober for this, but obviously I expected too much of you guys."

Adrian often had cynical thoughts, what was uncommon was that cyncacism escaping his thoughts and verbalising itself. Well for once that was what had happened. He verbalised his displeasure with everything. He was pretty annoyed with both of them and it just started. He decided to try to move on the conversation before they realised what he said or some sort of fight broke out between the boys, "You guys actually have quite a bit in common. You should talk about it."

He was pretty sure they had absolutely nothing in common but if he kept talking he was going to get mean and snappy at both of them.

ADRIAN NAVARRE

by sixsmith.
566 words
lyrics by bastille

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

Killua showed up and you could smell it. There was the stench of weed and way too much cologne used in an attempt to cover up the weed smell. Obviously, the cologne hadn't done its job. While you and Adrian were sitting on the couch, Killua came over. Immediately, he started being way too affectionate towards Adrian for your liking.

After a moment or so, you were greeted by the newcomer with nothing more than a simple 'sup', which you supposed could have been much worse. He wasn't being too obnoxious. At least, not yet. Who knew how he'd end up acting later?

You gave him a quick nod as your way of saying hello in return.

Adrian seemed to be ignoring what Killua was doing, which was a little nice, at least. You were glad that he hadn't just invited you over to witness their make out session. That would be a little awkward, to say the least. You normally weren't too bothered with public displays of affection, but you didn't really want to see it between the guy you kind of liked and his new partner.

The first thing Adrian did was introduce you and Killua to one another. Then, he mentioned the fact that neither of you had shown up sober. Shouldn't that have told him something, though? Shouldn't that have told him that neither of you wanted this whole thing to go down? You thought that that much would have made it clear that you both weren't really behind the idea of meeting one another, but apparently, Adrian had completely missed that signal.

You're irritated and can't help but roll your eyes. You look at Adrian.

"Not to be rude, but did you really expect either of us to show up sober when you're introducing the guy you used to flirt with to your new plaything?" You scoff. This wasn't the ideal situation, that was for sure. You weren't originally going to try to cause any problems, but now that Adrian felt the need to call you out, you were a bit on edge.

Although, perhaps 'plaything' wasn't the best choice in words. This was bound to go to shit now. You don't take your eyes off of the two of them, though. You knew you'd caused trouble, but that'd always just been how you were. Nothing had changed.

Now you just wished you'd drank more before you came here. You'd have more in your system and less of a desire to try to raid the Navarre family's fridge for some booze.

You refused to let yourself focus on your desire for another drink, though. You continued to keep yourself focused the best you could. If this guy snapped at you, you didn't want your mind elsewhere. For all you knew, he could make this fun for you, rather than frustrating. Then, you might not need another drink.

-----

473 words

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx

[bailee]

killua kravitz.

get me drinking that moonshine
get me higher than a grocery bill
take my troubles to the high wall
throw them in the river and get your fill

Ouch. Zedekiah really doesn't hold back.

He stopped playing with Adrian's shirt for a second and rested his hands by his sides. The weed barrier prevented him from getting angry at both of their comments. Adrian really should've known better than to expect Killua to expect him to show up to any social event sober, especially one where tension hung thick and he could be one comment away from ripping another hole in Adrian's drywall.

And Zedekiah? He just proved himself to be the career prick that Killua thought he was all along. Lucky for him, being under the influence calmed his nerves just enough to prevent him from saying something rash. Between the two of them, Killua knew Zedekiah would win that fight. Unlucky for him, Killua knew how to win the war.

He smirked snidely at Zedekiah. Both boys seemed to be cracking under the tension, but Killua relished in it. Before Adrian had a chance to comment, Killua chimed in. "Plaything is kind of an odd way to describe a boyfriend, don't you think, Adrian?" He cooed, not lifting his eyes off Zedekiah's piercing own. He crossed his arms smugly before continuing. "We all like to have a little fun from time to time. Doesn't mean it means anything."

Killua spoke sharply as if he continued to drag a dagger deeper and deeper into Zedekiah's throat, choking him underneath his words. Killua wasn't stupid - he knew that whatever Zedekiah and Adrian had previously was more than harmless flirting to Zedekiah, or else he wouldn't have held immediate distaste towards Killua.

He smiled again before taking his eyes of Zedekiah. And finally, to rub more salt in the wound, he reached for Adrian's hand and cupped it in his own. Just to prove how happy they were together, and how unhappy Zedekiah would be with it happening.

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Zed's words hurt a lot. The smell of alcohol and the cruelness of the words just reminded Adrian of his dad. He looked at the locked liquor cabinet against the wall and considered getting something to drink from it, but decided not to. He wasn't going to be like his dad or like Zedekiah. He wasn't going to drink the hurt and the pain away. As Killua spoke, Adrian was silent. And even after he finished, Adrian was silent still. He was just looking at Zed right in the eyes.

Adrian's blue eyes were wide, and there was hurt swimming in that blue ocean. Then, after the silence passed, he spoke. When he spoke, his voice cracked. Normally he wouldn't let his true feelings out like this. He'd pretend to be fine and then just write about it later in his journal. But, he wasn't fine. There was no pretending about it. He didn't understand how even when high, Killua could stay so calm about this whole thing. At this point, Adrian was so used to Killua he didn't realize how manipulative he was. He didn't realize that Killua never loved him and never would love him, he just didn't want anyone else to have Adrian. He couldn't see he was being used.

"Zedekiah, that hurts. It really hurts. If you don't want to be here, that's fine. That's really fine. But just calling him a plaything? I don't just use people for sex. We haven't even slept together, Zed! Killua loves me. He makes me feel loved and he makes me feel cherished and cared about. Do you know how long it's felt since anyone had made me feel that way? The reason I want you two to meet isn't because we flirted. It's because I thought you were my friend. I thought you cared about me. Did you just think I'd be an easy hookup or some shit!? Is that the reason you agreed to talk to me after training that one day!? Well, is it Zed!?"

Adrian really was the son of Jason Navarre. Just like his dad, his hurt and pain were turning into frustration and anger. It hurt to have the first relationship that felt real to him whittled down to just sex. Little did he know, Zedekiah was kind of right. The relationship wasn't real. He was just wrong about who the plaything really was. Adrian didn't want to hurt Zed, he really didn't. He was just filled with so much emotions that he didn't know how to handle.

ADRIAN NAVARRE

by sixsmith.
422 words
lyrics by bastille

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

The words that Killua used were meant as a way of trying to tease you, or perhaps anger you further. The thing is, it wasn't his words that angered you further, it was Adrian's. Adrian had been so kind to you before, but apparently, you'd crossed some sort of line with what you'd said. You realized that for sure now. This was not going to end well.

The last part of what Adrian said to you was what really got under your skin.

"I thought you cared about me. Did you just think I'd be an easy hookup or some shit!? Is that the reason you agreed to talk to me after training that one day!? Well, is it Zed!?"

He was demanding answers from you, and all that he reminded you of was your abusive ex. He reminded you of Tyler. Tyler used to scream at you and make you feel like the villain in it all was you. He used to say that there was no way you cared about him as much as he cared about you. He would insist that you just wanted him for the sake of sex. Now, even without being in any sort of relationship with Adrian, he was acting like Tyler had.

You weren't dealing with this shit the way you dealt with Tyler's shit, though. You weren't going to grovel and cry and apologize. You weren't going to let him walk all over you and act like it was your fault things were like this.

"Adrian, listen to me," you started, trying your best to keep your composure and not yell. It was a struggle, but you were trying your best not to make things worse.

"I do care about you. You're my friend, and okay, I used the wrong words when I talked about Killua, I get it. I didn't mean to say it like that."

You still refused to apologize for it directly, though.

"If I'm being totally honest, I never wanted to make our dynamic into just some hookup! I talked to you because you seemed like you meant well! I actually had hope that there was one nice person in my life, and I wouldn't have wanted to fuck that up with some hookup!" Now you were yelling.

"So no, that's not what I wanted! I wanted someone who cared about me, okay? That flirting? Yeah, I had an interest in you, but I backed off when you told me about Killua, didn't I? I'm fine with just being friends, but it doesn't even seem like you're okay with that anymore! You're just- too focused on other things right now to realize that I do care about you!"

You stood up from the couch and stared pacing as you were explaining yourself. Then, you turned and looked Adrian right in the face.

"I do need to get one thing straight with you, though, alright?" You had a stern expression on your face that wouldn't falter. Your eyes were daggers, piercing into Adrian. "Just because I've hooked up with people in the past doesn't mean I don't have feelings, and that I don't have friends, got it?"

You were fuming, and you wanted to hit something, but you wouldn't. You weren't going to start acting like your father, or like Adrian's. That just wasn't going to happen.

-----

547 words

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx

[bailee]

killua kravitz.

get me drinking that moonshine
get me higher than a grocery bill
take my troubles to the high wall
throw them in the river and get your fill

"I'm gonna go rip a piss," were the only words he could muster after the pin of the grenade was pulled, turning the tension in the room into a straight warzone.

He quickly left his position on the couch and rushed to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The lock clicked shut and he leaned against the shut bathroom door, releasing a long sigh from his chest as he processed the words that the two boys had exchanged.

"Killua loves me."

The idea of loving someone haunted Killua's brain. He had never felt true love for anyone, let alone Adrian. The very notion of falling in love wasn't even appealing to him. His parents didn't love each other. Killua didn't even love his own kin.

Had he let this thing with Adrian go too far? Were the attention and the validation worth the farce of pretending to love someone? It's not like Adrian was putting out. For God's sake, they haven't even slept together. And to tell you the truth, Killua couldn't see loving Adrian ever. Not like Zedekiah could love Adrian, if he didn't already.

Killua knew he couldn't let Adrian go. Breaking up with him would result in the loss of one of his only friends. He knew he just had to avoid the whole conversation of love altogether. Perhaps tell him that some girl broke his heart back in middle school and that's why he wasn't capable of saying the words back.

Killua knew only one thing for certain though. Zedekiah would not be getting his hands on Adrian anytime soon. Adrian was his.

The way the two boys argued with each other, he could tell there was something more going on between them. Adrian clearly felt something beyond just an attraction for Zedekiah - and Zedekiah, well, it was obvious how he felt towards Adrian.

Killua unzipped his pants and got down to business.

He knew what he had to do. Getting rid of Zedekiah in Adrian's life altogether was the only way to ensure the two boys would stay away from each other. As the booming of the two boy's argument erupted in the background, Killua listened in. The perfect time to intervene would come soon. He just needed to wait for Adrian's rage to kick in a little more so that his anger would blind his filter. He wanted Zedekiah to hurt. Bad.

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Zedekiah had the option to hurt him, verbally and physically. But he didn't. Instead he merely spoke the truth - his truth. Adrian owed it to him to try to hear him out, to allow him to speak that truth. So he focused on trying to keep himself calm. And as he listened to Zedekiah, he realised how sorely he misjudged him. He thought of Zedekiah as someone who just cared for sex. But he wasn't. He felt like a shit friend.

In that moment he had two options. The first was the easy way out. Just get mad and keep screaming and yelling and hurting him, maybe get some booze out of the cabinet while he was at it. He could be his dad. The second option was harder. To be a man and admit that he was wrong. To apologize. To acknowledge the validity of Zedekiah's feelings and acknowledge his own flaws. In this case, he would be Adrian Navarre. It took him a little while to make his decision, but once Killua left the room he decided he would be Adrian Navarre.

"Zed... you're right. You're fucking right. Everything you're saying is valid. The anger you're feeling, it's valid. I see it now, I'm in the wrong. I knew drinking was a coping mechanism for you because of the shit you have going on and I still said something. I shouldn't have. And I still want to be your friend too. I care about you a lot, you mean a lot to me. I hope you know that."

He took a moment to plan his next words carefully. He wanted to be honest and himself without letting too much slip through his internal filter. He had to choose the words that came from the heart, but not any that cut too deep into it. Because that's where things became messy. both of their lives had been filled with muck and Adrian didn't want to add to an already stressful situation. He also didn't want Killua to get the wrong idea if he came back mid conversation, even if it was totally innocent.

"I don't want to lose you as a friend over me making a dumb mistake. What I said, was something said out of rage. That was something my dad would do and I'm not him. You know, I admitted to you that I was gay before I could even admit that to myself. I told you more about my family life than I had ever told Killua. I don't want this friendship that we have to end. I feel like I can trust you with anything. I am so genuinely sorry. I understand you might not accept my apology right now, but when you're ready I'm here. I'm also free to hug it out if you want. When Killua finishes his business I can have a talk with him too. We can hang out tonight and after tonight if things are still tense between you two you'll never have to see each other again. Can we please give tonight one more chance?"

ADRIAN NAVARRE

[by sixsmith.]
[513 words]
[lyrics by bastille]

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

You were absolutely furious, and you made sure that everyone in the room knew about it. Your words were loud and harsh. You were pacing around the room, which you only ever really did if something was bothering you. You had your fists balled up tight, ready to hit something even though you refused to actually do so, so as to avoid acting like your own father.

"I'm gonna go rip a piss." Killua's words. At least he wasn't getting involved right now. You didn't really want to know what he was like when he was angry, and you were fuming bad enough in the moment.

Killua headed off to the bathroom and you continued to look at Adrian.

The first words out of Adrian's mouth in response were that you were right. At first, you thought he was being one hundred percent sarcastic. He had to be, right? No one was ever nice to you after you'd yelled at them. Hell, hardly anyone was ever nice to you to begin with, ever, so if he wasn't joking, that was a total surprise to you. You'd just been a total ass and now he was saying that you were right? Well, you weren't going to argue with that.

Adrian kept going, even after saying that you were right, though. He said that he understood your anger, or perhaps, the more specific words he used were that your anger was 'valid'. Most importantly, he said that he still wanted to be your friend, and that he cared about you.

He actually cared about you. You couldn't remember the last time someone in your life said that and was genuine about it. He didn't want to lose you as a friend, and when he told you that, you could feel your heart rate starting to go back to normal again. It no longer felt like your heart was beating out of your chest. At least, not as badly. Of course, you were still angry with him, but you appreciated the kinder words that he was speaking now.

The next thing Adrian said to you was even more surprising to you, though. He said that he told you he was gay before he even admitted it to himself. If you were understanding this correctly, then he actually trusted you. No one had ever confided in you with something like that before, and in the moment, you hadn't really realized that that's what was going on. Now, though, you realized. Adrian really was a good person. A good friend.

He cared about you. He trusted you. He wanted to be your friend, and then, he even apologized, which was something you had even avoided doing.

When Adrian told you that he wanted this friendship to last, you nodded. He mentioned something about talking with Killua, and you supposed you'd give it a chance. No one had ever calmed you down this much this quickly before. It was really strange.

"Alright," you said quietly. "and thank you. For- everything. I'm sorry for what i said, too. I'm just an idiot sometimes."

He'd offered you a hug, too. You'd never really been a hugging person.

"Sorry, I'm not really a hugging person, if that's okay. At least, not right now."

Maybe you'd hug him later, but not with Killua around. You didn't want him to think you were trying to come onto Adrian or something. Sure, you were jealous, and you were an asshole sometimes, but you weren't a homewrecker by any means. The one time that'd happened by accident (you slept with a guy and didn't know he had a boyfriend) you felt like shit.

You went quiet. Now, you were just waiting for Killua. Maybe, just maybe, things would turn out okay. You hoped so, at least. You really didn't want to make things worse than they already were right now.

-----

634 words

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Adrian was glad when things seemed to calm down between him and Zedekiah - he really didn't want to lose one of his closest friends over this. Unfortunately, things were about to blow up once again. Why? Because Adrian Navarre is blonde for a reason. It's well known at this point that Adrian is bad at telling when he's flirting, as seen by the first time he flirted with Zed without even realizing it. Well, he was about to do it again.

It was obvious that Adrian still had feelings for Zedekiah, obvious to everyone except for Adrian. He thought he had moved on with Killua already, he really thought he had. He was foolish in thinking that. While they waited for Killua, still sitting on the couch, Adrian turned on the television. Of course, it was playing coverage of the Hunger Games - that's all that would be playing on any channel for a while. As he relaxed and watched tv, he was slowly getting closer to Killua without noticing.

He was exhausted - emotionally not physically. His fight with Zedekiah had been draining and he just wanted to relax. And what does his brain consider relaxing? Cuddling with cute boys of course. It got to the point where he was sitting right next to Zedekiah, his head right next to his shoulder, so close to using him as a pillow. If coming from the direction of the bathroom it would definitely look like they were cuddling as he relaxed watching television. And he got to that state right as Killua was walking in from the bathroom. 

ADRIAN NAVARRE

[by sixsmith.]
[267 words]
[lyrics by bastille]

[bailee]

killua kravitz.

get me drinking that moonshine
get me higher than a grocery bill
take my troubles to the high wall
throw them in the river and get your fill

Killua already thought he was fighting a losing battle. The muffled conversation of the boys in through the bathroom door had seemed to relax, once a mansion filled with tension turned into the low whispers of reconciliation. This was not what he wanted. He wanted their friendship to burst at the seams, driven by Zed's anger and alcoholism and Adrian's likeness to his own father.

He zipped up his pants and pressed his ear to the door. The low hums of the TV broadcasting the Bloodbath were the only sounds to be heard. Alas, Killua had too much luck under his sleeve, and the magic of the four-leafed clover never sticks around forever. Getting rid of Zed would require a little bit more work.

The easiest solution would be obvious; forbid Adrian from seeing or talking to Zed, using the age-old excuse that he was uncomfortable with him hanging out with a former fling. Killua figured that would come off as too possessive. He was never one for possessions - even in the form of gorgeous, blond career boys.

The silence became a little too suspicious, prompting Killua to open the door to the bathroom. Images of Bubby Caro flashed across the screen in a series of dramatic Capitol effect, but that's not the scene Killua's eyes laid upon. It was the scene of the back of a familiar blond head pressed upon the broad shoulder of the alcoholic career.

In that instant, rage boiled through Killua's body. He knew what he had to do. The only proper way to get rid of Zed was to make Adrian think it was his own decision.

"Oi," he piped up, as he approached the two boys closer. His fists balled up, his veins bursting from the exposed skin of his hoodie, "I guess being hopelessly in love with my boyfriend wasn't enough for you, Zedekiah. You had to swoop right in and make a move as soon as I leave the room."

He turned to Adrian next, crossing his arms over the top of his chest. "What do you see in this guy? One minute he's starting shit, the next he's trying to rub up to you."

And to add one more final blow, he turned back to Zedekiah, looking him straight in the eye, "I guess that's what its like to be a raging alcoholic. Just on the prowl for your next victim, ready to fuck them over whenever they trust you enough that they let it happen."

With a final breath, he addressed both of the boys. "Guys like him say they want nothing from you, until they lure you in with your trust and make a move. He only wants one thing from you, Adrian. How do you think he ended up so close to you?"

Manipulators can spot other manipulators from a mile away. Killua and Zed had more in common than they thought.

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

Finally, you had started to calm down. You'd taken a seat on the couch again and Adrian sat right next to you. He was rather close to you, and he turned on the television while his head was right next to your shoulder. It was comforting, but you didn't think of it as anything more than that in that moment. Adrian was taken, after all, and you weren't trying to mess with that, despite the bad vibes Killua gave you.

Killua emerged from the bathroom, and almost immediately, things turned to shit once again. Of course that's what would happen. Why not? That was typically how your luck went. People tried to stir the pot, and you were always going to defend yourself. You didn't let people walk all over you. That is, aside from your father. He made your life a living hell if you tried to fight back, so you didn't even bother with it.

As Killua approached, his hands were in the shape of fists and he definitely didn't look happy. He made a comment about how you were apparently 'hopelessly in love' with Adrian, and that you'd decided to 'make a move' when he was out of sight. You clenched your hands into fists, now, too, and moved away from Adrian to stand up in front of Killua. You weren't happy. Not at all.

His next comment toward you was about your alcoholism. You wanted to punch this guy. He was insisting that your goal was to fuck people over: in this case, Adrian specifically.

You get right up in his face.

"Listen here, asshole." You speak harshly when you talk to him. You want him to know how angry you are. "First of all, you don't get to just come in here and make assumptions about what's going on. You also don't get to assume my motives. I'm not trying to fuck with your relationship. Trust me, I don't want to."

You'd accidentally fucked up one relationship in the past, unknowingly. You would make sure to never do that again, and you certainly weren't going to do it on purpose, either. This guy really pissed you off, and it took just about every ounce of self-control you had not to punt him across the room or punch him square in the nose as hard as you could.

Luckily, your self-control was working, to an extent. At least in the physical aspects, it was. You words on the other hand? You weren't stopping quite yet. You had no problem being an asshole towards this guy, since he certainly was one himself.

"Secondly, you need to learn when to stay out of things. Adrian and I are friends. That's it. Clearly, you're the one trying to intrude and fuck things up, not me. I'm not some homewrecker."

You back away from his face a little bit. Things were a bit too close for comfort, and you didn't want him spitting in your face or something. Crossing your arms, you look at him sternly.

"You also need to learn to shut the fuck up about things that are none of your business. Sure, I'm an alcoholic. I'm aware of that. It's certainly not news to me, trust me. You've got your own problems, too, though, and maybe you should focus on that first. I may be a fuck-up, but you're making me start to think I'm not alone in that."

A fuck-up. Your dad had called you that so many times and now you were using it against other people. You were starting to sound more and more like your father. In the moment, though, you didn't really care. You were truly angry, and, well, perhaps it is like father like son.

-----

613 words

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Everyone in the room was like their fathers. Zedekiah had the anger and the cruelty of his. Adrian gained his temper and his inability to process his emotions from Jason. And Killua was cold and uncaring like his own father, unable to really love another human being. The thing is, only two of the people in the room felt like their dads right now. Adrian? Adrian felt like his mom did. He finally understood how she felt.

Growing up, Adrian would definitely get into arguments with his dad, they just weren't as bad as the ones that would happen after his moms death. Normally they were just the clashing of two people who had difficulties expressing themselves - and they never ended in the violence that they did now. And that was in part due to Adrians mom. She was always there as the voice of reason to diffuse the situation. And now that was Adrians job to try to fix things.

The reason why it worked with her is she loved both sides equally so she couldn't blame one or the other. Instead she tried to find a solution that didn't end with assigning blame. Adrian cared about both sides and watching all of this happening didn't make him angry, just sad. He knew he had to try to work something out between them. He had gotten Zed to agree to try again, now he just had to talk with Killua.

But then he felt it, and he truly felt like his mother. A sudden stabbing pain in the upper left side of his chest. Patients with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy like Adrian and his mother often have the condition cause symptoms, flare up, or even worsen the condition overall with exercise. However, more than half of all patients with the disease have emotional stress as a trigger for the symptoms as well. The pain faded but then it happened again, another wave crashed over him.

He put a hand to his chest while the boys were distracted with their arguing. His heartbeat was accelerated, but other than that it was normal. He had experienced Atrial Fibrillation at one point and had to get paramedics called to the career academy, now whenever he felt symptoms he just had to check his heart rate. But that didn't change how shit he felt.

The world was spinning around Adrian as he sat on the couch, but he couldn't just sit here and listen to their fighting anymore. So, he slowly got up, trying to hide the pain and the dizziness he felt. He was ready to faint at any time, but he couldn't right now, he had to fix things first. Then maybe he could faint later. When his voice called out it sounded weaker than normal, but he could pass it off as just being tired of all of this.

"Killua, let's talk in a separate room. Zedekiah, the key for the liquor cabinet is under the edge of the rug. Just stay here and I'll work everything out. Let's talk in the kitchen Killua. I can show you where that is real quick."

He tried to steady himself but his movement betrayed him. He almost looked drunk as he walked, his footsteps clumsy and his legs shaking slightly. The spinning got worse the longer he stood, but luckily the door to the kitchen was right by where they were sitting. Once inside the kitchen he closed the door and sat on a bar stool. He was hunched over slightly, just wanting the spinning and the pain to end.

The spinning, while still there, was easier to cope with now that he was seated. He still sounded weak, but it was easier for him to speak without having to try to talk over their arguing. Honestly it was easy for him to blame Killua for all of this, but part of him was worried Killua was right. Was Adrian just too blind to see that Zedekiah only wanted sex from him? The irony being that someone was just using Adrian, but it wasn't Zed.

"Killua, take a minute to calm down. Please. Zedekiah had agreed to try to get along with you for just today. He wasn't trying to pull anything, I was just tired. I know how it might have looked though. Just listen to me, remember what I said when I first brought up you two meeting? If you behave, maybe you'll get some sort of reward. Name any reward and you'll get it if you go in there, apologise, and just try to behave until he leaves. Then I'll never make you two spend time together again. Deal?"

ADRIAN NAVARRE

[by sixsmith.]
[770 words]
[lyrics by bastille]