giselle "zell" pomfrey // D4 fin

[Deleted]

giselle pomfrey;

little miss inferiority complex
some of us pretend to kill people to cope
dumbass

little sister to roland
perdita leto was robbed and we're not over it
original bio here!

[Deleted]

She told her brother about that stupid dream today.

When couldn't remember where it was for the longest, but Zell realized the other day it was her parent's attic. She never knew it so empty, she couldn't even recognize it until Roland told her -- in her dream, it'd just be herself, and a floor length mirror. Oval shaped, slumped against the wall and there was never a door. 

It'd come and go, every few years she'd always catch herself there, and every time it was always that same scene. Only difference was that mirror - that fuckin' mirror. It was hard to tell it right to Roland, but it was like staring into an old photo of yourself. You look at yourself at five years old, or eleven, or sixteen, and you see all those familiar things around you, you see trinkets you lost & memories you forgot. 

You can imagine moving those things around, all the ways you'd change if it you had any control; but it's just a picture. 

And it was never deeper than that, only that she'd be alone with herself. She didn't feel alone, she didn't feel nostalgia -- the only thing scary of it was waking up afterwards, wondering why it kept popping back up. Last time, she was dancing in the mirror. She'd look into it and it looked back at it, and she'd remember the ballet routines she'd do in Preliminary. 

She doesn't do that much anymore. 

So she had told Roland about it, just over lunch. A hot summer day with neglected coursework on the table, the 76th is playing in the background and they're already talking about sleep. How she can't trash her schedule just because school is out- 

"It's fine dude, I'll fix it before the swim meet." 

"I mean, midnights not a problem, Zell. It's the fact you didn't wake up until four p.m.," he says, grinning and looking at her crazy. 

And that's where the topic change comes in, "I slept like ass last night- oh! Guess what dream I had!" Giselle says. And Roland is awkwardly concerned, he's organizing the magnets on the fridge as he tells her she obviously needs more sleep. 

Obviously, she snarks it back at him. 

But like... obviously. 

It's getting to her too, but it's just easier to ignore those hours. When everyone's awake, it's claustrophobic, almost. Knowing her neighborhood's awake, everything that could happen; she just wants to sit in her room most days. Roland's made her keep up with working out, she'll run six blocks to a random gym and make her way back before anyone can talk to her. 

That's it, that's her obligation. From there, she'll do her games study and the rest of the night is all her's. They tell her it's important to know it, that in the worst case scenario, she'll need to know how the Games works, but she just doesn't care. Can't bring herself to, she spends her time acting like it'll all go away come adulthood. 

That work's not coming, that she can balance twenty hobbies for the rest of her life.  Everything else just pisses her off - she can't stand anybody. It's like her mind works too quick to consider them, new people just feel in the way of what she's doing. 

It's Giselle vs the World - and maybe that's just how she wants it.

She can't afford to lose anymore. She's sick of- illness of the ego, Giselle is a girl in desperate need of winning. For a second, she and Roland thought Perdita would fix things. Sewing those left over holes up, that somebody in Panem would stay for a second. It's a repeating lesson, time and time again; Giselle's aware of the free exit. 

Anytime you want to tap out, the Games are waiting. Career's Philosophy, and funny enough it's Roland is the reason she can't convince herself to volunteer for it. Perdita's cannon still rings in her ears; Giselle couldn't leave her brother like that. 

When she described the mirror room to him, he's the one who knew it was an attic. Pointed it out almost immediately, he knew where the door was supposed to be and even called the mirror. She'd always hide up their as a kid, in their parent's attic - it was always full of junk and dust. Old dressers, a wooden bedframe, portraits of old women she'd never recognize. 

She'd only seen it empty once, when they moved out. 

And then of course, several times after in a way she couldn't stop. What kind of shit is that? 

At least Roland told her where the door's supposed to go, maybe she'll figure the rest out later. 

[Deleted]

Dibs to dars

[dars]

"It's Giselle vs the World - and maybe that's just how she wants it."

bby GURL!!!!!!!!! to be fair,,,,,, past experiences,,,, make her valid