sky shattered.— [adrian/zedekiah]

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Adrian's world was falling apart around him. Killua had outted him to his father. Adrian was visiting his mother's grave and came home to his father waiting for him. His dad didn't react how he feared he might. Though, he would've preferred that to what actually happened.

He disappointed his dad. His father told him he didn't need to hear if that was the truth right away, but if it was he was ashamed and disappointed. Adrian knew what that meant. His dad knew deep down it was true. But he was telling Adrian to keep pretending to be straight for the rest of his life. And disappointing his father like that was one of his greatest fears.

He was sad because of his dad, but pissed at his boyfriend. Even if his dad wasn't homophobic, coming out is something very personal. He had no right to do that to Adrian. He couldn't be at home, at least not tonight, and he didn't want to see Killua's face. So, that left him with one option. Zedekiah Luna.

Adrian had other friends, but none he was both out to and knew about the situation at home with his father. At first he noticed that Zedekiah wasn't sure if him coming over was a good idea. Until Adrian elaborated. He was focused on everything going on he forgot about Zed's own rough home life. Part of it was he assumed he had guys over before - whether he was dating them or hooking up.

Once he got outside his house he texted Zed to let him know he was there. He thought maybe his dad or brother were napping and Zedekiah didn't want to risk waking them up. Adrian's eyes were puffy, though the redness had faded. He refused to cry on the walk over here just in case he ran into someone he knew. But as soon as he was somewhere safe? The tears would begin to flow.

Hanging off his shoulder was a black dufflebag, he brought anything he might need just in case - including his heart medication with how stressful the day had been. He hadn't told Zedekiah about his heart problems yet, but he'd make something up if he had to. Or he might just be honest and spill it. Zed wasn't the type to pity him, he felt as though he could trust him.

Plus, even if Zed reacted poorly, what else did he have left to lose at this point? He lost his mother almost two years ago. Today he lost his father. And soon he feared he might lose his boyfriend. He might as well lose one of his best friends while he's at it. After all, maybe then he'd finally volunteer. After he had lost absolutely everything, he could try his hand in the Arena. And if he won maybe his father wouldn't be so ashamed of him.

ADRIAN NAVARRE

[by sixsmith]
[lyrics by bastille]

[kap]

zedekiah luna

---

---

what part

of living

You'd tried your best to push the memory of that night at Adrian's house that you spent arguing with Killua out of your mind. If the two of them were going to be happy together, you might as well let them. Although, your gut feeling told you that thing probably weren't going to end up going very well between the two of them.

When you heard from Adrian, you were pretty sure that your gut feeling was right. He'd asked to come over to your house, and although you didn't blame him if he was simply not wanting to be at home with his father or somewhere with Killua, you assumed that something must be up. Adrian was kind. He didn't seem the type to you that would ask to stay with his friend that his boyfriend obviously didn't like if everything was find with said boyfriend.

You were hesitant at first to let Adrian come over, since your father could be a bit... judgmental to say the least, but when he told you what was going on, you knew your father would be something for you to worry about later. You needed to make sure Adrian was okay. Agreeing to let him come over, you told him to text you when he got there, so that he wouldn't be knocking on the door and alerting your father and your brother of his presence.

When you received his text, you went over to the door, opened it quietly, and motioned for Adrian to come inside. He had a bag slung over his shoulder, and you assumed that meant he wasn't sure how long he was staying. Honestly, you weren't sure, either, but as long as your father didn't find out he was here, Adrian should be able to crash there for the night.

You had Adrian follow you to your room, and closed the door behind the two of you. As soon as the two of you were out of the area of potential risk of being seen by your family, you hugged him.

It felt nice to hug Adrian, but this wasn't for you. It was for him. He deserved it. He needed to know that you cared about him. Normally, you weren't really the type of person to hug others, but it felt like the right thing to do in that moment.

For once, you were sober, which was certainly a good thing. You'd been a bit better about it since that night where you argued with Killua, because you could tell how much it bothered Adrian that you'd shown up with alcohol in your system that night. You were determined to improve yourself.

Most days, you still had a drink or three or four, but you didn't down a whole six pack or the majority of a bottle of vodka like you used to. The little improvements were at least something.

Now, yes, you'd been trying to be better and were sober right now, but the main reason you weren't drinking tonight was because Adrian had texted you asking to come over, and you knew you shouldn't drink if he was going to be there, despite having just taken a bottle of whiskey out of the cupboard. You put it away when you got his text, not having drank any of it.

Currently, with Adrian standing in front of you, as you released him from the hug, you were grateful for the decision you'd made earlier to be sober for his arrival.

He needed you to be completely with it. Although, you didn't think he'd ever actually seen you completely sober before.

You kept your voice somewhat low as you spoke to him, so as to not grab the attention of your brother across the hallway in his own bedroom. Luckily, your father was downstairs in the basement, watching the television rather loudly, so he shouldn't be able to get even a hint of the fact that Adrian was here.

"Adrian," you started. "I'm sorry you're going through so much shit... do you want to talk about it, or do you need a distraction? We can talk about something else if you need a distraction, or I might have a board game or something in here..."

He had told you what was going on a little bit over text earlier, but you didn't have all the details- not that you needed them. You just wanted to make sure he knew that if he wanted to talk about it, you were there to listen. You also wanted to be able to present a distraction if he needed it, such as an alternate conversation.

says you

gotta die

---

---

table by arx

[Deleted]

YOU HAVE ALWAYS WORN YOUR
FLAWS UPON YOUR SLEEVE ―

Once they were into the bedroom tears began to pour down his cheeks, he was unable to hold it back anymore. He didn't want to hold it back. Jason had made it seem impossible for a man to have emotions, so much so he drowned his own in alcohol. But Zed? He didn't seem to mind emotions. It was nice.

He felt a sense of relief when he didn't smell any alcohol. When he got home from his mother's grave that was all that he could smell. And the scent of it made him feel sick to his stomach. Honestly if Zedekiah was drunk enough, maybe he would've turned and left right then and there. Maybe he'd rather sleep on the streets then be reminded of the thing that tore his family apart. He hoped that Zed was getting better, he truly did.

Zedekiah offered to listen to him. He nodded when that option came up. Maybe later he'd want a distraction, but now he didn't. Trauma is harder when no one else knows. His dad would probably never let him get therapy, but maybe for now he just needed a listener. And here Zed was, offering to be that listener that he needed. It made him feel the tiniest bit better.

Adrian wasn't sure where to start. He needed to let this stuff out. He was tired of bottling everything up. He was pretending everything was okay when really nothing had been okay for a long time. And little did he know, things were about to get even worse for him. He took a deep breath, ready to finally spill everything.

"There's just so much shit Zed- i can't do this alone anymore. There's so much I haven't told you or Killua or anyone. Like- I have the same condition that killed my mom. What if... what if one day I just suddenly die like she did? Killua doesn't seem to care about it. The other day it made me pass out and he still wanted to do... it instead of waiting until I felt better."

That- that was a lot. He was just glad it was off of his chest. His face got a bit red when he mentioned what he called "it". He couldn't make eye contact with Zedekiah when he mentioned that. Even if Zedekiah didn't know it was his first time doing it, he hoped he understood why he mentioned it. Killua didn't seem to care about his well-being that day, rather he only cared about what he could get from Adrian. Part of him regretted it.

"And- today he outed me to my dad. I don't know what exactly he said, but apparently he also told my dad about... he told my dad we fucked. I can't fucking believe the nerve of Killua! It felt so humiliating standing there and hearing my dad say how he doesn't have a son and how I should really think long and hard about whether or not I'm gay and then mention my own boyfriend told him about us having sex. It hurts!"

That's when he broke down a bit and just hugged Zedekiah tightly, his crying taking over his words. Everything was off of his chest. It hurt to say outloud, but now he wasn't holding in his pain. Someone else knew. He wasn't sure if he wanted to leave Killua. He still loved him. He wasn't sure if he would ever stop loving Killua. But the way he was outed? He wasn't sure if he could ever forgive that either. What was more important? A violation of respect or love?

ADRIAN NAVARRE

[by sixsmith]
[lyrics by bastille]