lean on me.— [prop/eleven]

[Deleted]

I was running a little late to watch the Pumpkin Carving, I arrived just as they started. I wanted to support my younger siblings. Specifically, I wanted to support Eleven. Fly was important to me too, but Eleven was so young and having a much harder time coping with Six's death. It was almost like he was starting to become depressed, and he was just too young to have to fucking deal with that. I wouldn't let him, not on my watch.

When I arrived, the first thing I noticed wasn't Eleven, it was Fly. She was here with a boy. The way they were laughing and whispering to each other as they carved gave me an indication of one thing - they were probably on a date. Fly was now a teenager so her dating was to be expected, but I wanted to make sure she wasn't going to end up hurt because of some asshole guy. I'd have to deal with that later.

But, as soon as I saw Eleven, I made sure I stood within his field of vision so he could see me and I gave him a little thumb's up of support. He was one of the youngest people competing so I wanted to give him a little confidence boost. In the end, Eleven did okay. But, he definitely didn't come in first nor did he do as good as Fly. But, that doesn't matter. I just hoped he had fun, perhaps for the first time since Six died.

Immediately after it ended, I went over to him and ruffled his hair. Sometimes, I had to admit, it was hard to look at him. He looked so much like Six did when he was little. A lot of people thought I looked like an older version of Six, and it made me wonder if it was hard for my family to look at me sometime. When I talked to him, my voice wasn't rough or angry - it was gentle. I rarely if ever lost my temper at my younger siblings, they meant too much to me for that.

"Good job, buddy. Now, want to go get some ice cream? Or maybe a snack? Or are you hungry enough for a meal? Whatever you want, it's on me. I'm proud of you, Eleven."

[lyss]

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Pumpkin carving hadn’t gone so well for Eleven. He knew that a regular ole face with triangle eyes and a zig-zag mouth wouldn’t cut it. He upped the anty a little and tried his best to carve a bat into his pumpkin. He thought that it was creative enough, but when he glanced around the arena, he noticed how creative and detailed everybody else’s pumpkin was. He started to feel defeated, but on the outskirts of the crowd, he noticed his older brother Prop watching him.

Eleven hadn’t expected Prop to show up to the contest. He figured pumpkin carving was a kid’s game and that his older siblings had better things to do, but there he was, watching Eleven whittle away at his pumpkin. Whenever Eleven cut his eyes over to his brother, he noticed Prop watching him with a sad sort of smile. Eleven thought maybe his design was worse than he thought, but Prop gave him a thumb’s up of reassurance.

Eleven thought his pumpkin looked pretty decent, but the judges weren’t that impressed. Almost everyone else, including Fly, had scored better than him. Eleven tried hard not to feel down about it all, but Fly giving him the cold shoulder had stung a bit. He knew that he was at the age where all his older siblings saw him as the annoying kid brother, but his siblings were all he had.

After the winners were announced, Prop went up to him and ruffled his hair. Eleven smiled up at his affectionate gesture, and his eyes almost tricked him into thinking it was Six.

"Good job, buddy. Now, want to go get some ice cream? Or maybe a snack? Or are you hungry enough for a meal? Whatever you want, it's on me. I'm proud of you, Eleven."

Pride wasn’t often expressed in the O’Malley house. There were too many of them to focus on each child’s individual accomplishments, not to mention that pride was a deadly sin. Eleven wasn’t sure what he had done to make Prop proud, but he wasn’t about to question it and risk losing out on a treat. He hadn’t had the stomach to eat much since the pie-eating contest, so he could use something to fill him up again. Plus, he figured it might be nice to not be alone for a few hours.

"I could go for some ice cream!" he answered with a grin. "What should I do with this, though?" He gestured at his pumpkin behind him, still unsure of if it turned out decent enough to keep, or if it was bad enough to smash.

elegant

[Deleted]

A sense of relief washed over me when Eleven said he wanted some ice cream. He's been isolating himself a bit, and I was worried he wouldn't feel up to it. I've been trying to keep an eye on him. The siblings closer to his age don't understand. When I was his age, One was old enough I was just the little brother and I didn't get it.

Sometimes I wonder if my siblings spent more time with me as a kid if I never would have started acting out. If I'd have better control over my emotions or if I'd feel them less strongly. Part of me wondered if I'd ever finally feel emotions normally, rather than feeling them all at once. But, there was no focusing on the what ifs. Because right now in the present, Eleven was having a hard time.

"What should I do with this, though?"

It took me a moment to realise he meant his pumpkin. My response was a simple shrug, unsure what he wanted to do with it. I thought it was cute. Sure, maybe it was a little corny. And maybe I was a little biased because he's my brother. But hey, it's cute even if it's not super detailed.

"It's your pumpkin, whatever you want to do with it. I think it would be a cute decoration for the camp site, but if you want we can smash it up if you'd think that would be fun."

I went ahead and picked it up. It looked a little heavy for a kid his size and didn't want to drop it. After all, even if he wanted to smash it it would be his to smash how he wanted, not mine. I thought about for a moment stopping by the campsite first to drop it off. But part of me was worried. Worried that if Eleven somehow ended up in his sleeping bag again, he wouldn't come out. Trying to sleep his life away before it ever really had a chance to start.

"I can carry for you while you decide and we head out to get ice cream, sound good?"

Part of me for a moment suddenly remembered that earlier I had a cigarette in my backpocket. For a second, I was about to panic. There was the risk of Eleven telling on me, yes. But there was the even more dangerous risk of Eleven finding out and wanting to try it himself. But the panic only lasted a moment until I remembered that I had already smoken it after talking to Cleome. I needed to stop freaking myself out like that.

[lyss]

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"It's your pumpkin, whatever you want to do with it. I think it would be a cute decoration for the camp site, but if you want we can smash it up if you'd think that would be fun."

Eleven thought it would be cute to add some personal decoration to the family’s campsite, but they would be heading back home soon, which would leave the pumpkin alone to rot. Smashing it could be fun, especially with Prop’s added strength. Eleven couldn’t decide what would be a more poetic ending for his pumpkin. Thankfully, Prop went ahead and picked up the pumpkin and said,

"I can carry for you while you decide and we head out to get ice cream, sound good?"

"Are you sure Prop? I’d hate for you to carry it around just for us to smash it later," Eleven mumbled sheepishly. He didn’t want to bother Prop over something so trivial.

His stomach growled ferociously, putting his indecisiveness to rest.

"Okay, let’s go get some ice cream," he laughed.

Eleven started walking in the general direction of the food stalls, his mind only focused on subduing the ache in his stomach. He had taken a few steps before realizing Prop wasn’t following him. He turned back to look at his brother and saw panic flash across his face momentarily. Eleven looked left and right, trying to figure out what Prop might have seen that he didn’t.

"Is everything okay, Prop?"

elegant

[Deleted]

I was almost glad to hear Elevens stomach growl. Normally, I hated seeing my little siblings hungry. During the freezing winters or summer droughts, sometimes food was hard for us. And sometimes, we just had to go without. Hearing my siblings hungry just reminded me of the hard times we sometimes faced. But, his stomach growling distracted him from me carrying his pumpkin. I knew no matter what I said he was going to be worried about me carrying it, so I was relieved he created his own distraction. It helped I knew he wouldn't be hungry much longer this time.

When I had checked my pockets for cigarettes, Eleven noticed. I wasn't necessarily surprised, but I should have tried harder to conceal my reaction. I simply shrugged off his worry and continued walking, giving him a half-smile. I was getting better at pretending everything was okay when it wasn't. Even if I didn't have control over my emotions all of the time, I could somewhat control how I displayed them. Even if I felt angry or sad or annoyed, I learned to hide it for my siblings sake after Six was reaped.

"It's fine, Eleven. I thought I lost my wallet for a second, but I have it..."

I wanted to move the conversation on from there, and I made sure to not stop walking so he wouldn't have time to dwell on what had just happened. Luckily, it was a relatively small pumpkin. And it being carved made it weigh even less so it wasn't difficult at all for me to carry. I tried to think of a new topic, but my mind kept going back to Cleome. The girl who kept beating me at every competition that I tried, even unofficial rematches. That's when it hit me, the topic I could switch to.

"Have you been making any friends? Talk to anyone interesting? I saw Fly was being friendly with some boy."

That was a reminder to myself to talk to Fly after this, just in case. I didn't know who that kid was, but I didn't want her to make some dumb mistake over a boy. Maybe it wasn't any of my business, but as her older brother I felt it was my duty to make it my business. Though, right now I needed to focus on Eleven. Luckily, we were nearing the shop. And Eleven seemed to be doing okay. He didn't seem too sad or nervous, though he was a bit quiet. That I did notice.

I was almost tempted to talk to Elevens teacher once school started back up, ask them to keep an eye on him. But I feared that would be over-stepping. There's a fine line between making sure my brother is okay and crossing boundaries. I'd have to think about it more. I feel like Six would know what to do. He was calm, and he always knew how to avoid conflict. Meanwhile, my life seemed to bring conflict. I wasn't sure if I surrounded myself with it due to subconscious actions or if it was just my shit luck.

[ 514 words ]