{Shooting Blanks} [Kousei, Aya, Open]
Oct 19, 2013 12:38:50 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2013 12:38:50 GMT -5
[/color]. I think of the times my mother would hum in the kitchen, glasses softly clinking in the soapy water as she scrubbed away the last flecks of dirt. Little hymns for laundry on the line, short prayers for mopping the floor, and quiet psalms for the morning coffee. I stare out at the pines blocking the sides of the roof. The outlines of the city blink in yellow and white, reflecting stars and shining light back toward me. Would that my mother could see me now.[/color] I think of her often. I still believe she had meant to come see me off at the justice building—surely something had prevented her from walking through the door? I hang off over the wooden railing of the gazebo and tilt my chin against my chest.
I a g o
I z a r – M c C l a i n e
•••{I feel numb most of the time}
{The lower I get the higher I'll climb}
{And I will wonder why}
{I get dark only to shine}•••
Sleep should not be hard to come by here. My body aches from training and the days move like along at the pace of a jackrabbit. I blame the living quarters. Daunting rooms flush with windows that stretch up the ceiling make me long for my little room back in eleven. So much so I’ve taken to pacing during the evenings, up and down our suite (until Tasmain scolded me that I was interrupting her beauty sweep), and then hallways until I’d found a refuge to take me in atop the training center. A few days ago after staring for several minutes at the button above 12 marked R, I’d pressed the gold lettering and let the doors open to a rooftop garden. Trees sprung up like a wall along the sides (and I imagined a forcefield lay behind them as well), while several wooden gazebos dotted the artificial grass landscape.
I whistle as I walk along the false stone path toward the center gazebo. Whisper a song, Iago
Doubt seemed unhelpful here; I shrugged it off like a bad dream. It must have been so much easier to worry about not being strong enough or big enough for the arena. That I could care enough about such things, but Benat comes to mind and I realize the futility. There are plenty whose blood will fall that think they’ll be the last to fall. Pride was a drug, and I was far and away keeping it out of my life. I’d shaken the reserve of others, for certain, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think they couldn’t[/color] just as easily stab me through the neck. It was more about the satisfaction of putting them down that made me smile. I bring my hand to my chin and listen to the opening of the elevator doors. “Oh goody,” I call out, “You found me.” [/blockquote][/size][/justify]