Speechless [Cassie/Shadow Day 3]

[Deleted]

Cassie Radke

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well you only need the light when it's burning low
only miss the sun when it starts to snow

There are some things that are never pure, some that are always pure, and some that are pure until guilt washes over and consumes it. Ice is like that, especially now, with the red blood of Brendon winding its way over the cracks of white now fading into the distance behind us. Was running the right thing to do now? It couldn’t have been right to stay, we would’ve been slaughtered (more than we had already been). That group of four that still stood, and we were down to two. They seemed so mismatched, devils and angels really, from what I could tell. What were we? What are you when you aren’t good, and you aren’t bad? Shadow was good, but what was I? I didn’t think I was bad; I hadn’t killed anyone. But I’m not good; I’ve been hurting others when the time presented itself, so what did that make me?

Stop asking questions; it’ll be the death of you.

Shadow and I kept running, and we really didn’t look back for a good amount of time. No words were exchanged between us, as I figured there wasn’t really a point and I might as well save my breath. It’s during that sprint that I finally realized I was exhausted, and that the ache in my feet wasn’t going away at all. How much longer can I go on? How much longer can I fight for a battle I’m sure to lose? When the immediate threat of Armageddon had passed, we skidded to a stop. My breathing was heavy, and it took more effort than I intended to simply speak to Shadow, “That went well.” I grinned a little, realizing both how out of shape I was and also the fact that we were completely and utterly screwed.

The giant ice cube that was still looming above us proved the point that we really hadn’t run that far, so I just stood there and stared at it. What is this even doing here? What would motivate anyone to put a massive ice cube in the middle of nowhere? Why, why, why? I began to absentmindedly wander towards it, not paying attention the shift from ground to ice underneath my feet. It bothered me, and it made me realize that these really were games. This wasn’t any type of a reality, even though we were living in it. My pace quickened the closer I got to it, and before I realized what was happening, I was slipping and sliding out of my own control, I put out my hands to stop myself, and just as I was about to call out to Shadow, I slammed face-first into it. If that didn’t make you look like a fool, I don’t know what will.

No big deal, just pull yourself together.

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But that was the problem, I couldn’t. The more I pulled the more an annoying ache in my mouth grew. I tried a couple more times before realizing that this wasn’t going to work. Okay just find some other way to get off; can’t be that difficult. As I looked around, well as far as I could given the situation, my eyes fell on shadow’s sword. This was probably not smart, but given my predicament, you can’t limit your answers to a certain thing. Might as well get it over with. I pointed to his sword, and brought my hand up to my mouth, making a sawing motion and praying he understood what needed to happen.[/justify]

only know you've been high when you're feeling low
only hate the road when you're missing home

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[semper]

s h a d o w b i s o n

Your little legs carried you as fast as they could but the pain in your stomach was quite a hindrance. Blood continued to pour over and through your fingers and for a while you were nearly certain you would bleed to death. The fear struck you just as hard as the pain did: everything – the arena, the weapons, the enemies – was real. The sticky blood was hot against your palm and it caused a nauseating feeling to overwhelm you; a gaping sensation opened in the back of your throat but you refused to stop running even as dry heaves forced themselves upon you, only intensifying the searing pain in your abdomen. The mix of gagging and gasping made your strides falter but you were hell-bent on keeping up with Cassie, far more terrified to be void of her presence.

You nearly stumbled to a stop as soon as she halted. Immediately you bent over, hands clutching the wound while your stomach continued trying to bring itself up your throat. No leftovers, however, were upheaved since you had not eaten in three days (but surely more coughs and hacks would bring the stomach itself up and out your mouth). Even the mere thought of eating caused your stomach to revolt and twist. Low and quiet whimpers escaped you. (Home, that was where you wanted to be; tucked away safely with your father watching protectively. Cassie was a good substitute but you wanted your father and his comforting embrace, his grumbled words of reassurance, even that look of disappointment he always gave you.) Had you made him proud by survive for this long? Outliving eleven other tributes, was that not an accomplishment? You hadn’t killed anyone, no, but you survived.

A sliding sound then caught your attention and you turned your head, using your sleeve to wipe the saliva and bits of vomit off your chin, and saw Cassie standing far too close to the ice cube. Your eyebrows drew together and a look of confusion came to your face while she tried to push against the ice cube, not going anywhere. It took a few moments but you ventured closer to her, and much to your horror her tongue was stuck and she was using her hand to make a sawing motion over it. Fear set in quickly once again and you quickly shook your head side to side, confusion being replaced by anxiety. You turned away as if your short body could hide the sword. (Cassie was smart, couldn’t she come up with a safer plan?) You whimpered again and shook your head more, mumbling sounds that did not even vaguely resemble ’no.’

i’m faking glory
and send a smile over
and the stories brand new
but i can take it from here
i’ll find my own bravado

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[Deleted]

Cassie Radke

[/font][/center]

well you only need the light when it’s burning low
only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Now was not the time to hold back and be afraid. If I got stuck here, to this, we were both completely vulnerable (I mean we already were pretty vulnerable but this would make it even worse). I made the motion once again, trying to get him to understand this had to be done, no matter how much he didn’t want to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to do this either, but do we really have another choice? No, but if I was overlooking some alternate route that could’ve prevented what was about to happen, I would most likely be pretty angry. Not that I’d be able to say anything about it of course. The realization just hit me I wouldn’t be able to talk, even though I hadn’t really said much. What would we do? Grunt? Write in the dirt like little kids? Oh wait.

What would Cole think of me right now? “That’s my sister! The one stuck to the ice cube!” Yeah, not so much. He’d probably be shaking his head in disappointment, while everyone else around was laughing. Laughing at the girl who was too ignorant to not know where to stop. But they had reason to laugh, since I probably looked quite stupid. If I got off of this thing, and made it through this day that had lasted far too long already, I would try to make my brother proud. I would try to make my parents proud too, even though they really didn’t care, and probably didn’t even know what was going on. Were they even watching? Had they even cared when I got sent into this whole mess?

What were we doing here? Fighting to live one more day, just another twenty four hours and wishing that someone else will die, that another cannon would be heard. But why? What were we living for? Human nature. All we want is to survive, even if we say we don’t want to live. So because of that pathetic thing called human nature, I tried my best to plead with Shadow, begging and hoping that he would figure out this was the best thing to do. The only thing to do, really. If I wasn’t stuck to a giant ice cube at this point, I would’ve just walked over, picked him up, and sat him down beside me. So naturally, I did the next best thing, I motioned at him to come over, so that maybe, just maybe, he would see there was nothing else that could be done.

only know you you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
only hate the road when you’re missin’ home

[semper]

s h a d o w b i s o n

Why would she want you to cut her tongue off? Was she doing it to mock you? No, no, that was not Cassie at all; she would never do that. She held you during the night when all you did was cry your eyes out, and did she once make fun of you? No. She comforted you like an older sister and thinking that she would pull a cruel prank on you such as this was just childish. It was an honest accident that Cassie ended up trapped against the ice cube.

You watched her with blurry vision and she ushered you over so you obeyed, dragging yourself toward her. Your mind began racing with any other possibilities that could maybe her free but you came up with none. The water you had was purely for drinking purposes, and even though it was warm outside it would take forever for the cube to melt enough in order to get the tongue off. Cassie made the sawing motion again and you whimpered, reluctantly taking your hands off the gaping hole in your stomach and pulling your sword around. Your willpower was incredibly weak as you raised the blade, resting it between the ice and her face. Just one quick move, don’t stop. You swallowed hard, whimpering once more. (“I’m sorry, Cassie. I’m sorry.”) It took far more strength than you realized to raise the long sword up, and in one fell swoop you swung it down, slicing through her tongue.


[severed Cassie's tongue]

i’m faking glory
and send a smile over
and the stories brand new
but i can take it from here
i’ll find my own bravado

Clue Four - Ninth Birthday Bash

This is a tricky clue, my dear

Related to when I was tricked one year

First Bloodbaths are nerve-wracking, that’s for sure

Pee breaks and shaking hands, plus more!

A Gamemaker Red, a Gamemaker Blue

Can you figure out this clue?

We’ve made it extra long you see

As it has a hitch or three

It’s not a Games post - not quite, but close

Remember when we used to pre-write our intro posts?

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[Deleted]

Cassie Radke

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well you only need the light when it’s burning low
only miss the sun when it starts to snow

The pain that immediately flared through my body was almost more than I could take. Don’t scream, you can’t scream. It took all of my power and control to not cry out in pain, but even then I realized, I really couldn’t. I wouldn’t be able to speak and I wouldn’t be able to scream, and that terrified me more than just the pain. Had I really just spoken my last words? I felt the blood rushing into my mouth, and not having anything to do with it, I spit it onto the ice by my feet. I tried to swallow to rid myself of the taste of blood, but that only hurt and made the taste worse. I looked to Shadow, who honestly looked more petrified and hurt than I did, and at that point, the only thing to do was hold my arms out and hope for a hug.

Luckily, he had no problem with the idea, and for once, I did feel comfort. It was the type of comfort that was small, warm, and most of all loving. His embrace was so light against my body that it was almost hard to tell he was there, but I knew he was. The last time I had felt the embrace of a hug was back home, with Cole, when he told me he would carry me through this. Would he still want to carry me now; his broken, beaten sister who was now clinging to a boy she had known for a few weeks? I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to. I wouldn’t want to.

So we just stood there, holding onto each other, and hoping that no one would find us. We had to stay low and out of the way if we wanted the chance to make it much further. I finally let go, and put my hands on his sword, trying my best to ask him if I could use it for a moment. He didn’t make any moves to stop me, so I took it from him and (watching my step this time) made my way back over to where I had just stood a moment ago and looked at the tongue, my tongue, that was still attached to it. I lined up the sword and cut quickly, taking off a thin sheet of ice with the tongue, and watched as it fell to the ground. I looked at it for a moment before quickly picking it up and putting it into my bag. Maybe it will come in handy or something.

[uses Shadow’s sword to cut tongue off of ice cube and then gives sword back to him]
[picks up tongue]

only know you you’ve been high when you’re feeling low
only hate the road when you’re missin’ home

[semper]

s h a d o w b i s o n

Immediately regret swarmed you. You refused to even look at Cassie as the blade sliced through her soft tongue; the tip of the sword then scraped against the ice and drove down into the dirt. Your eyes remained shut tightly and your quaking hands nearly dropped the sword.

What had you done? You’d taken away Cassie’s ability to speak and communicate, just as Iago had done to you. Did that make you just as bad as him? No, you had done it to help her. She was unable to do anything while stuck to the ice cube and so you freed her – did your intentions count? The mere thought of leaving Cassie terrified you to your wit’s end and you already knew you would do anything to keep her with you and this only proved it. You were a good kid, you were only doing it to help.

And yet you still were ashamed of yourself, unable to see any more good inside you.

You hesitantly opened your eyes and saw that she had her arms extended toward you. A second thought never crossed your mind – you threw yourself into her arms, dropping the sword, and clung to her. Once more the tears flowed and you repeatedly apologized to her, no matter how incoherent your words were. You also knew you were getting blood onto her tunic but it was no different than anyone else’s blood on it. Her shirt also dried up your tears until she pulled away, taking with her your sword. You didn’t stop her; you refused to touch the sword for the time being so she was more than welcomed to use it. You pulled your sleeve down over your hand and rubbed away the tears, your free hand snaking back down to clamp down over the gaping hole in your stomach.

i’m faking glory
and send a smile over
and the stories brand new
but i can take it from here
i’ll find my own bravado

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